Clean bill of health

JUSTIN
With Drs threatening to go on strike. Nurses having been on strike. And NHS managers not being able to strike because they've all been fired.

Andrew Lansley must be feeling more rejected than I did when I went speed dating.

Who will run the NHS? Eileen Higgins it turns out.

Mrs Higgins you've made some bold decisions since taking on the multi billion pound NHS budget.

MRS HIGGINS
Tough times call for tough measures Justin not half measues.

JUSTIN
Yes but halving the number of operations the NHS carries out? Halting all new purchases of equipment and replacing medicines with smarties.

MRS HIGGINS
And this is just the beginning Justin, the NHS has to be fit for the 21st century.

JUSTIN
But Eileen your new purchses are almost as controversial as your cuts. 3 million new mops, 200,000 Henry Hoovers and the conversion of 30 hospitals into regional cleaning cupboards.

MRS HIGGINS
Hospitals get very dirty, they're full of sick people. Well they are the moment, just wait till I've finished with them.

JUSTIN
Mrs Higgins what was your job before becoming NHS tsar?

MRS HIGGINS
Hospital cleaner. I was the only person not on strike.

JUSTIN
Mrs Higgins do you think the British public will stand for brain surgeons being paid 5 grand a year? Whilst the man who mops up puke in A&E gets a quarter of million pounds?

MRS HIGGINS
Lots of people slip up on puke. When was the last time you slipped up in a puddle of spilled brains?

It's clever...but maybe too true to be that funny?!

Well I can't send the one about Noah f**king all his animals now can I?

Sorry. I'll try to stop posting on your critique threads

Be my guest.

Then when I flick on BCG for a moment I can believe people care.

Generally it seems satire is be deployed in an indirect manner. Maybe don't write in Noah's voice but rather about the animals... or more seriously (though perhaps a to played out angle) how the government are reducing waiting lists in hospitals by reducing the number hospitals and the number of sick people using God's natural remedy - death. Though quite a nice sketch with some choice lines.

(Me and keewik are watching you. From x2 360 angles)

Quote: DeathbyMonkey @ February 25 2012, 8:34 PM GMT

Generally it seems satire is be deployed in an indirect manner. Maybe don't write in Noah's voice but rather about the animals... or more seriously (though perhaps a to played out angle) how the government are reducing waiting lists in hospitals by reducing the number hospitals and the number of sick people using God's natural remedy - death. Though quite a nice sketch with some choice lines.

View original

Thanks I like your idea, but I think it maybe a tad generic for News Jack

True - I used it more as an example. One of the great tools I've seen used in satirical sketches is to take the side of the subject and push it to the point of the absurd, to show the inherent absurdity of the story.

Good, but needs something to happen at the end.

Dan

I switched the bit at the end so the reveal is she's the cleaner.

Hope it works better that way.