Simon Cowell got quite a shock Saturday night when someone broke into his house in London and hid in his closet Simon shouted at them to get out, something which he has been shouting at Louis Walsh for years. - liked this one but 'come out' would have been better.
Microsoft moves to disable Zeus botnet and if this means something to you, you need to get out more. - Loved this one but not fully worded
Heart transplants work best when opera music is being played, preferably not by the doctors. liked this one but not fully worded again
Quote: Jowan Mounsey @ April 6 2012, 10:00 PM BSTDamn I'm a bit late for this, but I'm still going to put up the one liners I did for the last two episodes, I'm not going to put upp skecthes or Jack apps. I know these arnt up to scratch but any constructive critism would be really appreciated.
This week is was revealed a third of rail passengers are forced to stand, but more shockingly two thirds of rail passengers are forced to sit next to rail passengers.
Tulisa's career this week has suffered some damage but on the bright side she has been offered a contact with the website the xxx factor.
Simon Cowell got quite a shock Saturday night when someone broke into his house in London and hid in his closet Simon shouted at them to get out, something which he has been shouting at Louis Walsh for years.
Microsoft moves to disable Zeus botnet and if this means something to you, you need to get out more.
Heart transplants work best when opera music is being played, preferably not by the doctors.
Three circus elephants in Switzerland are being forced on diet after piling over half a tonne between them, still that's nothing compared to the loose women panel.
Two gay men were spotted having sex aboard a cruise ship and were fined, they blamed it on 'too many cocktails', which was ironically also the complaint.
James Cameron plunges almost seven miles under water this week and more people are asking the question why couldn't he just stay down there?
People have described Madonna's new video as being too raunchy for the internet, they obviously haven't seen Tulisa's new video.Apple has been criticised for misleading advertising as new High-def ipad killed hundreds.
A Harry Potter actor was jailed this week for violet disorder and has been sent to jail, his other offensives include theft, vandalism and using his magic outside Hogwarts.
The plans for longer trading Sundays trading during Olympics now means Sundays will be 26 hours long.
A great week for cinema this week, up until George Clooney was released again.
This week scientist have reassured us that the 50m long asteroid will narrowly miss earth, to me it narrowly missing earth is not reassuring.
This week it was revealed Homeless households in Britain rose by a fifth compared to last year. If your like me your curious about what a homeless household actually is.
On being firing from the discovery channel Bear Grylls said to his fans : "Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." However from him we learnt stay on the path and you won't have to drink piss.
This week the Rolling Stones have delayed there 50th year anniversary tour, and on most people's minds the question is How the hell is Keith Richards still alive?
Sad news this week as Red Bull inventor dies, who found out the hard way that Red Bull doesn't give you wings.
In education this week high-flyer children will sit a new test, mainly to aid and develop there control when in flight.