NJ: Cull of Duty: Modern Welfare

First of many for this series...

Dan

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Cull of Duty: Modern Welfare
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JUSTIN:
This week, it was reported that doctors are prescribing computer gaming to treat a rare eye disorder. Whatever next? Cold baths for Parkinson's disease sufferers? Raves for epileptics? Or Grand Canyon tight-rope walking for pensioners putting a drain on the UK's finances?

ATMOS:WAR-BASED COMPUTER GAME

VOICEOVER:
In a heartless world of bloodshed and tears...

F/XCREAMING AND RUNNING

VOICEOVER:
Could you save...

F/X:MACHINE GUNS

VOICEOVER:
... the unsaveable job?

F/X:BOMBS EXPLODE

VOICEOVER:
Secretary of State for Health!

GRAMS:UPBEAT, PUMPING MUSIC WITH GUNSHOTS

VOICEOVER:
You are Andrew Lansley!

MECHANICAL:
Polls rating: low.

VOICEOVER:
Face the challenge of an ageing population.

LANSLEY:
Ow.

MECHANICAL:
Polls down 1 point.

F/X:RUCKUS, MAN BEING HIT

LANSLEY:
OW! Stop hitting me with your walking sticks!

MECHANICAL:
Polls down 1 point.

F/XINGLE STRIKE

LANSLEY:
Ow! Old people are *mental*!

MECHANICAL:
Polls down 200 points.

VOICEOVER:
Fight off private referrals from 3000 women with gigantic, exploding bazungas!

F/X:WOMEN RUNNING, COMEDY BOUNCING AND POPPING NOISES. ONE MAN RUNNING BY.

LANSLEY:
Aaaaaaaaa-OW!-rrrrrrrrrrrr-OW!!-rrrrgggg-OW! OW! OW!!-gggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

MECHANICAL:
Poll rating now negative.

VOICEOVER:
Defend the honour of the 111 phoneline and mitigate "serious unintended consequences"!

LANSLEY:
You what?

MECHANICAL
Poll rating: 'clueless'.

VOICEOVER:
Pause your new Health and Social Care Bill!

ATMOS:EVERYTHING STOPS DEAD

MECHANICAL:
Game paused...

LANSLEY:
Ahhhh.... phew... (SIGHS, THEN STARTS SOBBING)

ATMOSMINOUS

VOICEOVER:
And when all that's finally dealt with, the hardest end of level you will ever experience -- a vote of confidence from Nick Clegg!

LANSLEY:
No! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

MECHANICAL:
DRR! LOSE A LIFE!

VOICEOVER:
Cull of Duty: Modern Welfare! Out now! Rated 18 for distressing political ineptitude and one scene of 'I told you so'.

END

Nice idea Dan - but I think it's too long and needed more focus...

Agree with RJ that it's too long but I got a bit confused with the Mechanical Voice / Voice Over. Good idea, but I think it needs to be simpler.

Good use of the medium, and the exploding bazungas livened it up enormously.

Another excellent example of using the medium.
Slightly overcrowded & lengthy but a cut above as usual Mr Qwerty

Made me laugh, Dan - right around the bit where Andrew Lansley gets hit with walking sticks and says 'ow'.

After that seemed a little samey - or more likely just too sophisticated for my little ol' brain. Lansley getting hit with sticks is more my level.

Something for everyone, it seems, but a little too much of something for everyone

Cheers everyone for comments

Dan