Hello All. This was the first sketch I'd written (and I also submitted to NJ). Just wondered if anyone had the time to read and comment. Thanks.
HARRY & MILAN
JUSTIN With his acquittal on tax evasion charges, as well as strong speculation linking him with the England manager's job, it's been a busy couple of weeks for Harry Redknapp...
F/X
OUNDS OF FOOTBALL TRAINING
HARRY (ON PHONE) Of course I'm flattered Brian. But like I say, I haven't given the England thing a moments thought. I'm 100% concentrating on Spurs. They've been so good to me. I love this club. The chairman, the players, the fans. They've been fantastic. Top drawer. I've got a big job to do here. Look I've got another call coming in. Speak to you soon Bri yeah...Hello?
MILAN Harry, it's Milan. You ok?
HARRY Yeah Milan (BEAT) just can't stop thinking about the England job. It's doin' my head in.
MILAN But what about Spurs?
HARRY Who?
MILAN You know, Tottenham Hotspur.
HARRY Oh...whatever...
MILAN Look Harry, some things about our case are still troubling me.
HARRY Really, what?
MILAN Why open an account in your dog's name?
HARRY But Milan, you said about them Monaco accounts, that every man and 'is dog was openin' 'em.
MILAN Yes, Harry but I didn't mean....that's just a, how you say, English expression.
HARRY Yeah, well, English. You know me Milan. Handwriting of a 2-year old, can't spell, thick as shi.....
MILAN Yes, Harry, I know. (PAUSE) But if you want zee England job you need to get your house in order.
HARRY What keep it clean like.
MILAN No Harry. (PAUSE) Your financial affairs. They're a mess. You don't read anything, you don't keep anything. Nothing gets done on time.
HARRYHow was I to know you have to do an annual return every year?
MILANOh Harry. You don't send faxes, emails, texts...
HARRY Yeah but...
MILAN Harry, this is serious now.
HARRY Well I...
MILAN If you really want to manage ze England team - you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
HARRY But Milan, it were bleedin' self-assessment got me into this mess.
MILAN OK Harry, you know best.
HARRY Look Milan I've got another call coming in. Thanks for the advice. Speak soon eh. Bye.....Er, Hello?.... Alright Rob. (PAUSE) No, haven't given it second thought. I've got a job to do here at, er, um, Spurs, yep Spurs....
(END)
