What to do?

I can't decide which of the following sketches to send to Play and Record could my learned colleagues help me. I already have a sketch i'm definately going to send so its either of the followinf. Thanks

ASSASINATION

ASSASIN:
It was two years ago that I was given this mission. Two long years it has taken me and I’m still no closer to achieving my goal. I haven’t completed my mission yet, but I won’t stop until I have. I do not know my victim’s identity but I was
given a name: Jones, and a location: Wales.

THE ASSASIN ENTERS A WELSH HARDWARE STORE

DAVID:
Can I help you miss?

ASSASIN:
Are you Jones?

DAVID:
No, I’m David.

ASSASIN:
David Jones?

DAVID:
No, David David.

ASSASIN:
But this is Jones Hardware Store?

DAVID:
Yes, but he works on Saturdays

ASSASIN:
Where does he live?

DAVID:
Oh, just up the road there on the hill

ASSASIN:
Any family?

DAVID:
Yes, quite a large family.

ASSASIN:
Have any of them ripped off a drug baron?

DAVID:
I don’t think so.

ASSASIN:
But you’re not sure?

DAVID:
No, do you want to purchase anything, love?

ASSASIN:
Yes, could I have a spade, some rope, lime powder and a chainsaw please.

G-DOG

TWO RAPPERS ARE TALKING IN THE ‘GHETTO’

MACFLOW:
Hey G-Dog what’s sup?

G-DOG:
Just chillin’.

MACFLOW:
Dawg, is that a new bullet proof vest

G-DOG:
It’s the new Sachi range; it’s got a place for my Ipod and automatically issues an album when I’m shot.

MACFLOW:
Man that’s cool. Where are your bodyguards?

G-DOG:
Ring Fence was shot on Saturday when I went to get some fried chicken; Brick House was arrested for GBH,

MACFLOW:
Heavy,

G-DOG:
Yeah but in his defence he told the child five times that he couldn’t have an autograph. Berlin Wall was taken ill yesterday and Little Joe ate too much pizza and can’t fit through his door.

MACFLOW:
Why are you out here then?

G-DOG:
The album’s not doing so well; I thought if someone shot me it might increase sales.

MACFLOW:
I’ll shoot you.

G-DOG:
You would do that for me?

MACFLOW:
You’re my homie, of course I’ll do it.

G-DOG:
You’re a good friend.

MACFLOW:
Ready?

G-DOG:
Go for it.

F/XAFETY ON A GUN IS SWITCHED OFF

G-DOG:
Dude, aim for the chest not the hea…

F/X:GUN SHOT

MACFLOW:
Dude are you alright, dude?

F/XOUND OF CD BEING PRINTED

MACFLOW:
Genius, a new album

I like both sketches a lot but thought the assasin one was more original and funnier!

Frankie xxx

Thanks Frankie

they were ok... I raised a smile on them both... assasin sketches are done a lot I find (well I've read a fair few anyway)... the rappers one seemed original.

to conclude not bad

Definitely Rappers.

Definitely the first, I remember it from the first time it made an appearance here and thought it good then and just as good on a re-read.

The second one reminded rather too much of The Sopranos episode when:

"Bobby makes a deal to shoot and wound Marvin, a rapper hoping to gain notoriety, in "the fleshy part of the thigh." Bobby misses and shoots Marvin in the buttocks."

Best.

I preferred the first one too ajp.

Thanks, i'll think I will send the first one. Besides BBC 7 probably haven't heard of rappers

Quote: Jude @ July 9, 2007, 7:59 PM

I preferred the first one too ajp.

View original

Me too!

Thanks all, I have sent off my sketches so i'll close the thread. I like using my powers mwahahahaha. Thanks again.