WAITER: I don't know, I got stoned three times this afternoon.
Sketch: The First Date Page 2
A man and woman are on a date in a restaurant.
The man looks up at the woman and the woman says:
WOMAN: Your protest against the corporate mistreatment of chair manufacturers is admirable, but I'd really prefer it if you didn't sit on the floor .
MAN: Actually this is an authentic Arabic restaurant; now pull up a cushion, and put on the burkha.
A waiter approaches the table at which the man and woman sit.
WAITER: Date?
WOMAN: September eleventh.
WAITER: I am busy at that time I am afraid. I am learning to fly a plane.
WOMAN: Oh, how go-getting of you! Is that a common ambition amongst the Italians? (HISSES TO MAN) Will you please get off the floor? This is not an Arabic restaurant and that's a pashmina, not a burkha.
Suddenly the waiter cuts the woman's throat from ear to ear.
MAN: Finally you're smiling darling!
WAITER: Would you like to join me in learning to fly a plane. You get many virgins after and I am not talking about the Virgin airways. Well I am as they are always open but you know what I mean.
The woman wraps a scarf around her neck.
WOMAN: Does my neck look f**ked in this?
WAITER: I don't know, I got stoned three times this afternoon.
MAN: And that's why sketches by forum committee just don't work!
Everyone laughs. A velociraptor bites the Waiter's head off.
END SKETCH
A man and woman are on a date in a restaurant.
The man looks up at the woman and the woman says:
WOMAN: Your protest against the corporate mistreatment of chair manufacturers is admirable, but I'd really prefer it if you didn't sit on the floor .
MAN: Actually this is an authentic Arabic restaurant; now pull up a cushion, and put on the burkha.
A waiter approaches the table at which the man and woman sit.
WAITER: Date?
WOMAN: September eleventh.
WAITER: I am busy at that time I am afraid. I am learning to fly a plane.
WOMAN: Oh, how go-getting of you! Is that a common ambition amongst the Italians? (HISSES TO MAN) Will you please get off the floor? This is not an Arabic restaurant and that's a pashmina, not a burkha.
Suddenly the waiter cuts the woman's throat from ear to ear.
MAN: Finally you're smiling darling!
WAITER: Would you like to join me in learning to fly a plane. You get many virgins after and I am not talking about the Virgin airways. Well I am as they are always open but you know what I mean.
The woman wraps a scarf around her neck.
WOMAN: Does my neck look f**ked in this?
WAITER: I don't know, I got stoned three times this afternoon.
MAN: And that's why sketches by forum committee just don't work!
Everyone laughs. A velociraptor bites the Waiter's head off.
END SKETCH
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It's perfect 
Loved it, look forward to seeing it!
Its going to be a tad tricky but I will give it a go. It might take a while though. I have a velociraptor but I am not sure where I will find the right type of scarf
Awwww it ended far too soon. 
Let's do another one!
Quote: Charley @ February 18 2012, 3:11 PM GMTAwwww it ended far too soon.
Ok. Its called "The Second Date".
I will leave it up to someone else to come up with the setting....
Guy sitting in a restaurant, opposite a sheep. The sheep is crying.
MAN: It's not me, it's ewe.
SHEEP
You're into cunnilingus. Don't try to pull the wool over your eyes.
MAN your a bit muttony dressed as lamb!
SHEEP If you like me I've got 99 followers on Twitter... Only every time a bloke sees us he falls asleep.