3 women in there early 30’s are in the living room of one of their homes. In the middle of the floor is the bloody dead body of a man.
Woman 1
(Out of breath & covered in blood) I think he is dead. Not absolutely sure though. (Puts her ear to his mouth. Her eyes dart about in concentration)
Woman 2
(Covered in blood) Should I go get something to bang his brains in a tad more. Just to be positive.
Woman 3
(Covered in blood) Hold on this will be easier. (Jumps up & down on his head, huffing & puffing, blood squirts everywhere)
Woman 1
I am certain he is dead now. Right what do we do with him?
Woman 2
Well we have to move him before the men get in from the pub. He really does not suit my décor (They giggle) I expect he will start to reek very soon.
Woman 3
Why don’t we drag him out into the garden & bury him.
Woman 1
What a marvellous idea (Pats her on the arm). I knew you were the brains of our group. Talking of brains. (points to the floor) Oh no look. My stiletto is caught on a bit off goo. God sake. (Bends her leg up & picks it off, holds it infront of her and whispers) What is 2 + 2. (They all laugh).
Woman 2
Right lets haul him into the garden then. 2 of us can sort deado out, the other can start to clean up this bloody mess.
Women 1 & 2, drag out the corpse. Woman 3 starts to clean up whistling as she goes.
Woman 1 comes back into the house.
I need to get a saw. We misjudged the hole. Have to cut the bugger in half. (Returns to the garden)
2 hours later. Woman 1 & 2 come in. Covered in mud, blood, goo and sweat.
Woman 2
All done.
Woman 3
Take your dirty clothes off before coming in here. I have cleaned already. Did you get his car keys out of his pocket. We need to move his damn car.
Woman 1
Oh FFS!! No we did not. (Drags woman 2 out to the garden again)
2 hours later.
3 Naked women are sitting in the livingroom. Showered & clean.
Woman 3
I feel a weeny bit bad to be honest. He could be a husband or a father.
Woman 1
The man said he was a rapist & a murderer.
Woman 2.
To be fair he did say, PRETEND I am a rapist & a murderer.
Woman 1
I never heard the word pretend. (Looks at woman 3)Did you hear the word pretend.
Woman 3
Why yes I think I do recall the word pretend.
Woman 1
Ooooops!
Woman 3
(Shrugs)
Cut to
All the women are re dressesd. The husbands come home
Husband 1
Well girls did you enjoy your little surprise.
Woman 2
Surprise?
Husband 1
Yes the Private Self- Defence class we booked for you.
That really made me laugh. Beautifully dark.
