British Comedy Guide

X Factor

Simon: I'm currently recruiting judges for the new x factor.

Louie: (arm raised) Pick me. Pick me.

Simon: (ignoring) I'm wondering if Edwina is up to the job.

Louie: Currie?

Simon: No, just had a KFC.

Louie: She's too...old. Pick me. Pick me.

Simon: How old are you again, Louie?

Louie: Ah, but not in the head, Simon.

Simon: And then I thought about Eamon...

Louie: He's dead.

Simon: Holmes.

Louie: He's a middle-aged, over-weight, over opinionated Irish windbag.

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