I've been busy so I stopped writing this for a bit but I've changed the beginning, it's the first act and it's not too long so some feedback would be really great 
Chhhheaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrssss.
"CAREERS ROOM"
ACT ONE
FADE IN:
INT. DOMJON'S CAFÉ- MORNING.
ABBY and GREG are sitting at a table in the style of an interview waiting for DERRICK to enter the 'interview room' even though he is standing only a metre away. Derrick mimes knocking on the door whilst tapping a nearby table to create a KNOCKING sound. The people at the table look annoyed as the vibrations knock over a cup of orange juice but Derrick pays no attention to them.
ABBY
Come in.
Derrick opens the 'door' and sits down in the seat opposite Abby and Greg and smiles eagerly.
GREG
You look like the Joker.
Derrick stops smiling.
GREG (CONT'D)
I didn't say look like batman either.
DERRICK
This is useless. I'm not going to get the job. I can't even smile right.
ABBY
Stop being so melodramatic, Derrick. Ignore Greg, let's start again. So, Mr Grodes, why are you interested in publishing?
DERRICK
Well, from a young age I've always loved reading books with some novels having a real effect on me...and Greg is fondling my junk with his foot. What the hell are you doing?
GREG (CONT'D)
Worst case scenario. You have to be prepared for these sorts of things in an interview. Your interviewer might try it on with you.
ABBY
What are you talking about? That's not going to happen!
GREG
I'm not saying it will, I'm just saying you should be prepared. You don't want to do what I did.
DERRICK
Wait, that actually happened to you?
GREG
Yeah, this woman put her foot right on my balls in the middle of an interview. Usually I'd be fine with it, but it was an interview for my dream job. I got so nervous I ended up grabbing her foot and giving her this weird one hand massage. It was like I was wanking off her foot.
ABBY
That's horrible, you should have reported her.
DERRICK
Did you get the job?
ABBY
Derrick!
GREG
The only job given during those twenty minutes was a hand job.
Greg makes a hand job movement next to his foot.
DERRICK
And now you work at Allbright School for twats.
GREG
Now I work for Allbright School for twats. Where intelligence goes to die.
DERRICK
I have to say, so far all I've got from you guys is that I should probably let my interviewer sexually assault me if I want the job.
ABBY
Just keep smiling and tell them how interested you are in publishing and why they should pick you instead of the others.
DERRICK
Yeah! I've been unemployed for two years now, I deserve a real job!
ABBY
Yeah!
GREG
Yeah! Go get them, you aptly qualified candidate you!
Derrick stands up as if he's about to go into battle. Abby smiles at him encouragingly and Greg mock punches the air a few times to spur him on. Derrick fist punches the air in return and leaves the café.
ABBY
So do you think he's going to get it?
GREG
Not got a chance-
Derrick reenters the café and sits back in his seat.
GREG (CONT'D)
Is what everyone else will be saying about themselves when they see this guy!
ABBY
Why are you back so soon?
DERRICK
I just realised my interview isn't until 12. I know they want keen but I don't think that keen. Can I get a cup of coffee while I wait?
GREG
I'll just get the waitress, oh no wait, Abby that's you!
ABBY
Haha, real funny. It's not permanent, it's just until I get my next Broadway job, so basically a couple of weeks tops.
GREG
Yeah definitely, I mean, you were a Zebra in the Lion King. That shit deserves recognition.
ABBY
(imitating Greg)
Ooh, look at me, I'm Greg and I think I'm so much better than everyone else even though I have a lesbian haircut and I still live with my mother.
GREG
Okay firstly, she lives with me and secondly it's not my fault I asked for an Owen Wilson and they gave me a Jane Lynch. Why do you always have to be so sensitive and-
DERRICK
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
ABBY
Both of you shut up. God, I need to make more female friends.
Abby flounces off behind the counter of Domjon's café.
GREG
She might spit in your drink. Well, I say spit but I've seen her try spitting so it'll probably just end up as a dribble...
DERRICK
I'm not sure I'll be able to drink any way. Shit, what if I don't get the job, Greg?
GREG
The same thing that's happened the last two years. There'll be plenty more opportunities, man. Recession Shmecession. Just keep trying.
DERRICK
Did you just give me actual good advice? That was beautiful; I think I'm going to cry.
GREG
I'm like that wise monkey from the Lion king. Maybe we can get Abby to reprise her role as Zebra #3 and we can give you a real musical send off to your interview.
ABBY (TO GREG)
Don't make me throw a muffin at you. They've been out all day so they're really hard as well.
The same family that got their drink knocked over by Derrick look at Abby disapprovingly. Abby smiles politely at them and returns to work.
GREG
Now stop being a little pussy and beat the shit out of that interview. I'll bet you a cup of spit coffee and two grenade muffins that you get the job.
DERRICK
Well, I'll have to get it now don't I?
GREG
Exactly. Now let's address other 'worst case scenarios'. What do you know about chain vomiting?
END
