Pick up the nearest book to you, turn to page 45, and read the first full sentence. This will describe your sex life for the year. Mine came from the Jo Brand biography:
"It's also nice to be somewhere private" 
Your sex life in 2012
Then Joseph could no longer control himself before all his attendants, and he cried out, "Have everyone leave my presence!". - The Bible
Hmm, not a good sign.
"Put my cauldron on to boil. It looks as though I'll have to make some potions."
(Asterix.)
"I like having my first date at home".
Spooky. That was "I like you: Hospitality under the influence" by Amy Sedaris.
Soon afterward, Georges Pompidou also began alluding to a potential European role for the force de frappe.
Ooh la la
'Blossom, speed thee well!' from 'The Winter's Tale' ( New Year's resolution - read all Shakespeare's plays)
"This must have aroused her compassion, for, still holding the plum branch in one hand, she swept the monkey up in the soft folds of her lavender sleeve."
Rashomon and Seventeen Other Stories
Fingers crossed!
"They sat across from her, Jalil and his wives, at a long, dark brown table."
Quote: Lee @ January 10 2012, 10:36 PM GMT"They sat across from her, Jalil and his wives, at a long, dark brown table."
You FILTH-MONGER.
At this location, the depth was eleven fathoms at low water.
Damn.
Does it have to be the nearest book?
From Tolkien's translation of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight:
"The lady longed to look at this knight; and from her closet she came with many comely maidens."
"Yet it seemed I wouldn't get the chance." - I, Partridge
F**k Me! 
Quote: Will Cam @ January 10 2012, 10:54 PM GMT"Yet it seemed I wouldn't get the chance." - I, Partridge
F**k Me!
It would appear 'F**k Me!' would be out of the question 
Stephens bladder has seen better days so I made my way downstairs to wait for him in the dining room