British Comedy Guide

The Break Up

A YOUNG COUPLE ARE SITTING IN THE LOUNGE ON CHAIRS BACK TO BACK

Greg:
I'm really sorry Euryale, but I think we should just call it a day.

Euryale:
Greg why are you doing this, I thought things were going so well. This hasn't got anything to do with me being a Gorgon has it?

Greg:
Of course not babe, it's just that we're not at the same stage of.. well I mean that we both want different.. Ok it does have quite alot to do with the Gorgon thing if I'm honest.

Euryale:
It never bothered you before.

Greg:
Of course it bothered me, I can't even look you directly in the face, that's no basis for any relationship even if you might want it to be.

Euryale:
But we're so good together Greg, you have to admit that the sex is amazing.

Greg:
That's true, at least once I realised that the snakes weren't poisonous. But that's not the point. As far as I am concerned this relationship has run it's course.

Euryale:
I'm hearing the words, but the back of your head is telling me a different story. I want you to look me in the face & tell me that you don't love me.

Greg:
We've been through this, I can't look at you directly as you will turn me to stone!

Euryale:
I won't. I promise.

Greg:
It doesn't work like that, I mean look at all your exes.

Euryale:
Don't you bring my exes into this.

Greg:
No I mean look at them, they're all still here. And they're all made of stone. See! I'm using Trevor as a drinks holder.

Euryale:
I think someone might be having a touch of the green eyed monster.

Greg:
Ok one quick touch & then I'm off.

Euryale:
Come on Greg! Is there nothing I can do to change your mind? What If I said that you can see other people.

Greg:
Euryale love. I can only see other people.

Euryale:
Ok then well there's nothing left to say! I think you should just phone yourself a taxi.

Greg:
Exactly what I was thinking.

GREG PULLS HOUSE BRICK OUT OF HIS POCKET.

Greg:
What have I told you about sending me picture messages?

Vey funny - a very erudite. I recognise "Euryale" as one of Medusa's sister. This could work as a sketch in a series based on mythology, or even as part of a fantasy sitcom. I enjoyed it.
Please have a read of my treatment for "Spiralling Out of Control" and let me know what you think.
I also have a Christmas special of my sitcom in Critique.

That was really good! I didn't think it would be so funny, the 'I can only see other people' line was quite clever. I would definitely keep this for something.

Excellent sketch Steve :)

Good stuff Steve. A nice idea with some great jokes.

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ December 29 2011, 2:38 AM GMT

Greg:
It doesn't work like that, I mean look at all your exes.

Euryale:
Don't you bring my exes into this.

Greg:
No I mean look at them, they're all still here. And they're all made of stone. See! I'm using Trevor as a drinks holder.

Loved this exchange, and the clever mixing of ancient and modern, very funny. :D

It's great. Damn you Steve!

Don't see the point of this bit though:

Euryale:
I think someone might be having a touch of the green eyed monster.

Greg:
Ok one quick touch & then I'm off.

Euryale:
Come on Greg! Is there nothing I can do to change your mind?

I think this could be cut.

I disagree Yacob. I really liked the cleverness of that bit.

Quite possibly I'm over or under-thinking this but are medusas known for having green eyes?

And for the joke to work shouldn't Greg refer to the present tense rather than (what I presume to be) the future (as Euryale was talking about the present)?

I think I'm losing my sense of humour cos it took me ages to get this.

Biut its rather funny.

Mayhap the punchline could be more of a twist?

Cheers All
Thanks for reading.

Yes SootyJ It doesn't really have a twist, So I didn't know quite how to end it.

Re: The green eyed Monster
I did wonder about whether their eyes were green & then thought I could probably get away with it

I think it's the reflection in his shield that makes them look a bit green?

Ahem

I thought the idea of a Medusa having a sort of normal life and going out with blokes was a brilliant idea. I thought there was a lot of really good dialogue too (nothing new there from Steve) and I loved the punchline.

Not knowing anything about Euryale (okay I'm thick) I looked her up on wikipedia: 'She and her sister Stheno, unlike their sister, Medusa, were not able to turn any creature to stone with her gaze.'

Oops.

I think it would be better if you called her Medusa because everyone knows her - well, not in THAT way of course (although there might be something funny about her boyfriend not being able to get it up and requiring her to look into that 'eye' to turn it to stone...)

But I digress. I think you could cut the dialogue down a teesnsy bit and also make the opening scene title a bit more descriptive. After all, if it's going to be a visual sketch the audience might notice that the girl part of the 'YOUNG COUPLE' is not your average girl - okay, maybe she's having a bit of a bad snake day...

But that's all a bit nit-picky. It gets a thumbs up from me.

Oops

I didn't want to use Medusa as she is too well known
But she's the only one who works.

Oh well

Good sketch, funny. I have a sketch with a Gorgon in, too; though it's a different set up to this. Interesting for you to know though, hey?

I have a vague recollection of seeing a Hammer Horror in which Stheno was turning the inhabitants of a Romanian town into garden ornaments, so Steve is in good company as regards that popular misconception. I would stick with it.

I tend to agree with Yacoub that that green-eyed monster line is a bit of stretch.

A funny sketch that I reckon would work best on radio.

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