British Comedy Guide

E-Petitions Column Idea

I had this idea, to write news bulletins based around the requests found in real e-petitions on the government website - http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/ - There are a good few bonkers ones, so it's (I think) a great resource for comedy.

What do you think of the idea?
What do you think of the execution? Is the writing up to scratch?
How about the length of the paragraphs? Too long/too short/just right?
Would you regularly read something like this?

#1

"The debate on whether to restore or retain the ban on capital punishment came to an end today. Senior government ministers are said to have brought the long fought battle to its conclusion by offering the compromise of "some hanging" as a way of avoiding a costly referendum. Hanging is to be outsourced to the private sector, and according to a Westminster official, two rival companies are currently locked in a bidding war for the 4 year contract."

#2

"The manufacturing arm of Motorola today won the contract to build one large "Capacity: Full" sign at every major docking point within the UK, The Groucho Tendency has learned. In response to the 5,000 strong e-petition directed at the Home Office, a government spokesman said: "Mass immigration has gone on for too long, and we believe this will put a stop to it. The technology seems to work when informing the drivers of motor vehicles when a car park is at its capacity, so why couldn't a larger scale model be used for immigration?" The sign will also offer suggestions of which countries have remaining spaces."

I thought the premise could be good. Paragraph length was ok. 1 was better than 2.

However, execution maybe was not helped by the some big sentences, I think you could micro manage them a bit.

The docking point thing confused me a little as I started reading it as being about i-pods before going, "oh, it's about immigration." But it's a good idea, and maybe with some work you could make it pretty funny. Maybe you could put in funny signatories.

I might read something like that reg'lar, but have to see more really.

I thought they were very easy to understand and pretty funny. Great potential in the idea!

Quote: BardManners @ December 5 2011, 11:50 PM GMT

I thought the premise could be good. Paragraph length was ok. 1 was better than 2.

However, execution maybe was not helped by the some big sentences, I think you could micro manage them a bit.

The docking point thing confused me a little as I started reading it as being about i-pods before going, "oh, it's about immigration." But it's a good idea, and maybe with some work you could make it pretty funny. Maybe you could put in funny signatories.

I might read something like that reg'lar, but have to see more really.

All very good points. I'll work on the sentence structure especially. Thanks for checking it out!

Quote: Pagi @ December 6 2011, 9:07 AM GMT

I thought they were very easy to understand and pretty funny. Great potential in the idea!

Very kind of you to say so. Thanks!

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