In doing the BCG jokefest for my radio show tonight I remembered I had written a few school related greetings cards a few years back.
I dug them out and voila!
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PHYSICAL EDUCATION
Picture shows an angry teacher looking behind the bike sheds
Caption: "David Smith and Mary Johnson! We do not run our Physical Education classes from behind the bike sheds..."
Inside card shows the two students heads above the top of the bike shed and one says to the teacher.
Second caption: "But sir, we're not doing P.E. This is our biology practical exam."
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R.E.
Picture shows a teacher and parents standing outside a classroom door.
Caption: "In this class the students are studying R.E..."
Inside card shows the teacher and parents look through the door at children staring intently at the blackboard which has R and E written on it in 3 foot letters.
Second caption: "By the end of the year we hope to have to taught them the rest of the alphabet."
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HISTORY
Picture shows a student sat at his desk in classroom with posters with historical dates on the wall. A crusty old politician is sat beside him with a blue rosette. Another student points to him and says to the boy next to him:
Caption: 'I don't like his tory"
Inside card shows the student with his arm around a dishy blonde, also wearing a rosette.
Second caption: 'I much prefer mine."
[*In hindsight: "Ouch!"] 
