For BGP alumni, the bits that didn't get the hits!
1
SCREEN FLASH 1
10/11/2011
Foreign Office Advice Safety for travellers to Peoples Republic of Middleeasternstan.
SAFE
The colonel's security forces continue to ensure a safe and happy holiday for any British tourists.
Friendly, smiling soldiers will ensure no protesters will intefer with your buying a stuffed camel in the ancient Kazbah or topping up your tan on the miles of pristine beaches.
The colonel's security police will make sure you're stay is perfect, don't worry about finding you them they'll find you.
SCREEN FLASH 2
11/11/2011
Foreign Office Advice Safery for travellers to the Revoloutinary Democratic of Middleeasternstan.
SAFE
Following the glorious and mostly peaceful revoloution of the peoples revoloutinary commitee, Middleeasternstan continues to welcome tourists. Explore the President colonel's palaces, for a fee you can even use his solid gold toilet. Also for a fee have your photo taken at the wall he was put up against and shot.
SCREEN FLASH 3
12/11/2011
Foreign Office Advice Safety for travellers to the Islamic Caliphate of Middleeasternstan
NOT ADVISED
The caliphate has established firm and efficent rule of the law. Just is swift and evenly handled. Visit Middleeasternstan with duty free or wearing shorts and you can have an authentic experience of Biblical justice.
SCREEN FLASH 4
Foreign Office Safety Advice for travellers to the Pirate harbour of Middleasternstan
WHO CARES IF THEY GET ON YOUR YACHT WITH AN AK47 YOU'RE GOING THERE ANYWHERE.
SCREEN FLASH 5
Foreign Office Safety Advice for travellers to the 51st state of Middleeasternstan
VERY SAFE
BP and Pepsi invite you to the peaceful and oil rich state of Middleeasternstan, don't forget to visit the gift shop!
2
JENNIFER (J) WALKS INTO HER LOUNGE ALISON 
AND TOM (T) ARE SITTING ON HER SOFA IN SLEEPING BAGS WAVING PLACARDS
A Booo!
T We demand the end to the capitalist opressive system now!
J What are you 2 doing in my lounge? Get out!
A We're occupying it innit.
J But why? What have I ever done?
A You're part of the system, so you're part of the problem. If it wasn't for people like you voting for political parties and putting your money in banks we wouldn't be in half the trouble we are.
J But, but I give to charity.
T Thus enabling the cycle of dependence forced upon the worlds poorest people.
A And you drive burning up the worlds resources.
J I drive an electric car.
A Whose lithium batteries were mined from the impoverished war torn state of Congo.
T You total bastard!
A This occupation isn't easy. You haven't even got a Starbucks.
T Even Dale Farm had a Starbucks.
J Well why don't you just get jobs you leeches?
T I've got a job.
A Doing what?
T I'm an undercover plod for the Met.
T PUTS A POLICEMAN'S HELMET ON
A And I'm a Libdem MP....oh knickers!
T AND J WRESTLE WITH A AND TRY AND GET INTO HER SLEEPING BAG
A You 2 faced tory skunk I'm occupying your sleeping bag!