Sent this off to Newsrevue and now I'm not really sure. Thoughts?
HELENMr Osbourne, I'm Helen Alexander, Deputy President of the CBI. Now, this 50p tax rate of yours, we'd like you to get rid of it
GEORGEWhy?
HELENThe economy, rich people not paying much tax is splendid for the economy.
GEORGEIs it? How does that work then?
HELENDon't be dull, George. Everyone knows this, take Philip Green, if we keep making him pay such a repressive amount of tax-
GEORGEPhil? He doesn't pay tax, it's all in his wife's name and she's a resident of...I don't know, Bermuda...or the moon. Definitely somewhere they don't pay tax.
HELENYes, but imagine if he did pay his full personal and corporate tax bill every year.
[Both chuckle at the incredulity of the idea]
HELENThe punitive tax rate for wealth-creators such as Phil would push them to move their businesses into countries with a less punishing tax regime. China for example.
GEORGEBut Phil owns Top Shop
HELENExactly, can you imagine a British high street without Top Shop. It would be a tragedy.
GEORGEBut...he's not going to move all of the shops to China is he, I mean, apart from anything else, they're jolly heavy.
HELENGeorge, George, all you need to know is that reducing to 50p tax is good for Britain.
GEORGEHow is reducing the amount of tax Phil doesn't pay good for England?
HELENSimple maths George. If Phil earns ten mil and he doesn't pay tax, then at the moment, you're missing out on five mil. Right?
GEORGERight.
HELENSo, you reduce the tax rate by half and you'd only be missing out on two and a half mil.
GEORGEGosh, that's brilliant. I'd never have thought of that.
[BEAT]
HELENGeorge, you seem like a smart chap so I've a business proposition for you. Invest fifty pounds in my company, Then all you need to do is find two other people to invest fifty pounds in our company and you'll double your money.
GEORGEI'm in!