A street corner; an Evening Standard seller rings a bell and calls out
SELLERRead all about it, England has some weather
A shiver runs down an old lady's spine, and she pulls her grandchild to her
GRAN
Let me tell you a tale called the tale of the night of the London fog tale
CHILD
Is it a scary tale?
GRAN
Only because I'm telling it in this old crone voice... There was a blanket of fog about the city, much like this blanket under which we do sit
CHILD
We're not sitting under a blanket
GRAN
Well pretend we are for the sake of the tale. So, there was a fog thicker than any had seen before, and terrible deeds were afit
CHILD
Afoot?
GRAN
Ah yes, the fit bit comes later in the tale. So, evil doings were all around, and at the very centre was a wicked man with a dastardly reign of terror
CHILD
Was the rain part of the weather too?
GRAN
No, not that sort of rain- a dastardly reign
CHILD
Right, okay
GRAN
The shining beacon of hope and television was accursed and the fair citizens of the land were cruelly forced to watch tapes of x-factor auditions instead of the live show
CHILD
Oh, yeah- the BT tower had a power cut
GRAN
I just told you, it was accursed
CHILD
Sorry
GRAN
But oh the woe of the night did not end there, for allegedly a hex took place
CHILD
A fix
GRAN
Yes, a fix and a hex. Allegedly
CHILD
Allegedly
GRAN
People they did vote for one thing, but the evil powers used psychic sight and kneweth of the result and puttith it on the internet before the phone lines had closed. Oh, cruel happenings... happened
CHILD
Gran, this was yesterday. I was with you, you had too many sherries and kept going 'phwoar' at Gary Barlow
GRAN
He is well fit
CHILD
Shall I put the telly on?
GRAN
Alright, pass the guide... ohhh, what devious knowing is this? The seeker of listings doth encounter witchery in the Radio Times, for they sayeth that I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here shall one day soon return...
So spooky. Ta!
