I have been away for a while but I have not been idle. The radio series Dr Roners Lectures is nearing completion and here is a scene from episode four "The Great Fire of London". Hope you like it. (sorry about the formatting)
Setting the scene.
England is at war. The 2nd Anglo Dutch war is in full swing and the Dutch and French are winning. London has also been hit by plague and the streets are full of poverty and death. Thomas Farriner an accident prone one legged navy man has opened a bakery on Pudding Lane after his medical discharge. Amongst his best customers is the diarist Samuel Pepys. Samuel is helping the Belgian goverment by finding and mapping the best places in London to place indcendary devices so that that applied knowledge can be taken back and used to prevent fires in Brussells.
Fx. Scratching as Samuel writes in his diary.
SAMUEL Elizabeth is been impossible. She wants to set up a dating agency using those damn birds after getting Thomas and Julie together. She even has a name, Pigeons and Parchment. What will she think of next? I have just about figured out the best places to set fires in London for the Belgians, if this
information got in to the wrong hands it could be dangerous. I will have to warn the Belgians to be careful of any Dutch or French Spies. The Plague nearly is over, it seems as though killing the Cats and Dogs did the trick. Thomas and Julie are getting married on Sunday at 3pm; I had better get my suit pressed.
Fx. A knock at the door
SAMUEL Elizabeth. Elizabeth answer the door.
ELIZABETH (off mic) I'm Busy.
SAMUEL Always bloody busy.
Fx. Samuel gets up and answers the door. As he opens it and allows in soft sounds from the street. Dancing girls can be heard in the background.
FRENCH SPY (off mic) Ah Mr Pep-ys.
SAMUEL (off mic) It's Pepys
DUTCH SPY (off mic) We are scorry mischter Pepys, we schometimech have
trouble announching schome of you wordche
FRENCH SPY (off mic) Ah we, it is our Belgian accent Mon a mie, it cannot be
helped.
SAMUEL (off mic) I suppose not. Come on in.
Fx. As the door closes all outside sounds are cut off. They Walk back upstairs to the room.
SAMUEL Gentlemen I have done as you asked.
FRENCH SPY Merci, err Thank you. You have done the Belgian
government a great service.
DUTCH SPY Great Schervice.
SAMUEL I must tell you gentlemen that I have some deep
reservations about handing this information over to you.
DUTCH SPY And why would you have reschervachions?
SAMUEL If this information was to fall in to the hands of any
French or Dutch agents it could be disastrous.
DUTCH SPY Discaschteroush eh?
SAMUEL Yes. If for instance there were any Dutch agents or
mercenaries in London and they found this information,
well I dread to think what would happen.
FRENCH SPY I can see your point Mr, err I see.
DUTCH SPY What are the chansches than any Dutch or French agentsh
or Mechenarieches would be in London with Ichendary
devisches?
FRENCH SPY I would consider them Petite, Miniscule at best Mon a
Mie, even non-existent.
SAMUEL All I ask is that you keep this information under very
close guard.
DUTCH SPY Oh we Schall.
SAMUEL Good. Well there you go Gentlemen. I shall show you out.
FRENCH SPY Thank you.
DUTCH SPY Yesh Schank You.
Fx. All three leaving the room and walking downstairs. The door opens allowing in the soft sounds from the street. Dancing girls can be heard in the background.
SAMUEL (off mic) Ah Thomas.
THOMAS (off mic) Mr Pepys.
SAMUEL (off mic) Do you remember these two gentlemen?
THOMAS (off mic) Yes I do, the Belgians?
FRENCH SPY (off mic) We, that's us.
DUTCH SPY (off mic) Yesch we are.
THOMAS (off mic) Tell me Gentlemen, When you cover your national carrots
with Chocolate do you wash them first?
FRENCH SPY (off mic) Do we?
DUTCH SPY (off mic) I don��t know.
FRENCH SPY (off mic) I think we might.
DUTCH SPY (off mic) Well in that casche Yesch, we do.
THOMAS (off mic) The national vegetable of Belgium is not the Carrott,
it is the sprout. Who are you really?
FRENCH SPY (off mic) Mon a me my friend, has got us there.
SAMUEL (off mic) What are you talking about Thomas?
THOMAS (off mic) What information did these gentlemen ask you for?
SAMUEL (off mic) The best places to let incendiary devices off in the
city.
THOMAS (off mic) So that's your plan is it? Burn the city.
DUTCH SPY (off mic) It isch too late now, we have the informachion we came
for, ha ha ha.
FRENCH SPY (off mic) Ah we, you are too late Mon a Mie, Haw he haw he haw.
DUTCH SPY (off mic) Run my friend.
SAMUEL (off mic) Come back! Oh no what have I done?
Fx. Elizabeth comes out.
ELIZABETH (off mic) I heard raised voices, what's going on?
THOMAS (off mic) Nothing. Let's go inside.
Fx. The door closes cutting off the outdoor noise and they go upstairs.
SAMUEL What have I done Thomas? Be careful of the...
Fx. Thomas falls over the chair. The chair breaks.
SAMUEL ...Chair, with your leg.
THOMAS I'm alright. Don't worry.
SAMUEL Are you sure?
THOMAS Oh I'm sorry Mr Pepys, was the chair valuable?
SAMUEL Yes.
THOMAS Well it's nothing that cannot be fixed.
Fx. Thomas trying to fix the chair.
SAMUEL Leave it Thomas, it's alright.
THOMAS No I think it's fixed now, look I can sit on it.
Fx. The chair breaking and Thomas falling to the ground.
ELIZABETH It really is ok, just leave it.
THOMAS Alright then if you are sure, I could try to fix it a
again.
SAM/LIZ No!
THOMAS Alright.
ELIZABETH What is going on?
SAMUEL I just gave the key to the destruction of the city to
two agents from God knows where.
THOMAS My guess is that one was Dutch
SAMUEL And the other Spanish?
THOMAS French.
ELIZABETH French, I thought so too.
THOMAS Was it that he kept saying Monsieur, Mon a mie and the
biggest giveaway, when he said Haw he haw he haw.
That's classic French that is.
ELIZABETH No. It was the stripy shirt, the bike left outside,
onions around the neck, haughty attitude and B.O.
SAMUEL Now I think about it, she could be right.
ELIZABETH Why would the French want to destroy London?
SAMUEL Good Question. I don't know. It is too late to do
anything about it now anyway.
THOMAS Maybe not. Do you know where you told them to place the
devices?
SAMUEL Yes, luckily I made a copy of the map.
THOMAS Good, pass it here.
Fx. Paper rustling.
THOMAS Fortunately it is a bank holiday weekend so I can close
the bakery, then all I have to do is go to where you
told them, find the devices and destroy them.
SAMUEL Are you sure it will be that easy?
THOMAS Yes. With a bit of luck no one will ever know.
SAMUEL Ok. Look at the map. I shall mark this house here as
Go. Here have £200 to get you on your way. I have
colour co-ordinated all of the areas. You will be
better starting on brown with The Old Kent Road.
THOMAS That's great, thank you.
ELIZABETH But you are getting married in three days.
THOMAS Then I had better get a move on.
SAMUEL You are going now?
THOMAS Yes.
ELIZABETH You might run in to those agents again.
THOMAS I hope so.
SAMUEL What will you do.
THOMAS Those spies don't bother me. If I see them, I shall
kill them. I must go now.
SAMUEL Thank you Thomas.
THOMAS No problem.
ELIZABETH Be careful.
THOMAS I told you those spies don't worry me.
Fx. Thomas starts to walk away.
ELIZABETH I didn't mean the spies. I mean be careful of the...
Fx. Thomas falls down the stairs.
ELIZABETH ...Stairs.
THOMAS (off mic) It's ok. I am alright. Don't worry. This vase at the
bottom of your steps, is it valuable?
SAMUEL Yes.
Fx. The sound of a broken vase. (shake china in a bag)
THOMAS Well not to worry it is perfectly alright.
Fx. Scene transition. Thomas opens the door and allows in the noises from outside.
There is more available if anyone wants it.
Davey
