sketch: PINE OVERCOAT Page 2

I wasn't too sure about it at first, but read it again, yeah I liked the ending. Nice one.

Thanks Lee and WJFK. Tom and Sock nose - thanks for the feedback; I have a policy of not trying to explain the jokes in sketches!

I took the thread name a bit too literally and was expecting something about a jacket woven entirely of pine needles. Although my expectations were not met on this front they were more than compensated for by the quality of the sketch - especially the ending! I had a few thoughts about some of the later bits - I thought the 'It's best to buy now' was a bit unnecessary as he's already said that the offer is today only. But I'm experiencing a bit of a cerebral vacuum in regards to what you would put in its place, as 'Really?' seems too minimal. Also, I'm not sure why, but I think that '£149.99' and the 'Free premium wreath' should be put the other way around. Lastly, I wasn't too keen on the 'Refreshing drink' (although it grows on me the more I read it). I think it may be better with something along the lines of 'A wise choice sir' Pulls out a phial. 'A toast to a happy future with your latest purchase?' I know that sounds a bit awkward, I'm sure you could think of a better way of putting it. And I guess toast implies that he would need to drink something too. Hmm.
I'm sorry if that was absolute rubbish, they were just some ideas that occurred to me whilst reading it - I'm a complete amateur, so I'm not really one to offer advice. Well done on a great sketch!

Thanks for the advice, Tpeni - I like your ideas! Of course I can do another redraft with all this in mind. Thanks a lot.