Goose24
Sunday 6th November 2011 6:00pm
Southampton >> Sydney >>> Wellington
139 posts
Hi Chris, Andrew and Ollie,
Just watched 3 of your videos (Crazy Golf, Random Emotion and London Gang) and here's my advice.
With Crazy Golf, I thought it was an OK punchline, but could be improved to get more humour out of it. I'd cut down on the explaining shots at the beginning (we know he's going to play Crazy Golf, we don't need to see lots of lingering shots of parrots and signs saying where he is) Establish where is quickly then dive straight in. It also unfortunately only has 1 punchline which it's based around, a sketch of that length with no other jokes will cause the audience I'm sure to get bored. So sprinkle some more comedy and jokes throughout cut it down immensely and get the gag quickly.
Random Emotion IMO was far too long as a stand alone sketch, nearly hitting 5 mins. It would work if it was in a sketch show, and was broken up throughout the show but not all in one go. But then again, you could expand the idea and turn into a mockumentary/Louis Theroux style programme. I thought the idea itself is funny and I'm sure there's a load of comedy in that for you guys to explore. I got a bit frustrated though, I wanted more examples! You only seemed to show roller coasters, then the thrill hitting later. I'd have loved to seen more examples of when the emotion could hit someone later at an embarrassing time.
My favourite of the 3 was London Gangs. An obvious nod to Peep Show! Not sure I really got the ironing bit at the end? I liked it though and could see it working well, with the just thinking more mundane and boring thoughts