The Future

INT. LABORATORY (THE FUTURE 2027) - DAY

A GROUP OF EMOTIONLESS MEN AND WOMEN ARE LED PAST ROWS OF FROZEN BODIES BY ERZUL; THEY STOP ABRUPTLY NEXT TO ONE FROZEN BODY. ERZUL PRODUCES WHAT LOOKS LIKE A MINIATURE, SILVER HAIR DRYER AND DEFROSTS THE BODY. THE ICE SLIPS AWAY AND THE BODY (ANDREW) COMES BACK TO LIFE. ANDREW TAKES IN HIS SURROUNDS WHILST THE GROUP STARE.

ANDREW
Oh my god. Thank you! Thank you so much!

HE HUGS ALL THE PEOPLE WHO STAND WITH ARMS BY SIDES.

ANDREW
I never believed regeneration would be possible; What year is it?

ERZUL
2027.

ANDREW
So, I've been dead...A long time! Have you only just developed regeneration technology?

ERZUL
No.

ANDREW
Why didn't you bring me back to life sooner then?

ERZUL
You were not required until now.

ANDREW
Required?

ERZUL
Yes, you are to be utilised in (IN UNISON) 'Project: Spaghetti Bolognese'

ANDREW
(INCREDULOUS) "Project Spaghetti Bolognese"?

ERZUL
That is the project you are intended for.

ANDREW
Intended for?

ERZUL
Yes, meat stocks are running low.

ANDREW
...Meat stocks?

ALEXA (FROM THE GROUP) JAMS A TINY WAND LIKE DEVICE IN TO ANDREW'S NECK, HE COLLAPSES TO THE FLOOR.

ALEXA
Sorry, he was going on a bit.

ERZUL
(SIGHS) Ok. Leave him on the draining board for two hours; we should all be ready to eat by then.

EMMET
(INTERJECTING) Well, I had a late lunch so could we push it back...?

ERZUL LOOKS AT EMMET DAGGERS.

EMMET
Ok, I'll only have a small portion.

ANDREW ROUSES FROM THE FLOOR. ALEXA QUICKLY PRODS HIM AGAIN, SENDING ANDREW OUT COLD.

ERZUL
Look, just take him away before he loses any more juices. I don't want the meat to be tough like last night's Korma.

THEY DRAG ANDREW'S BODY TO A GIANT DRAINING BOARD.

I liked the premise, but was thinking at first that he was going to cook for them with some long forgotten skills.

If they are going to eat him , I'd have liked a few more funny pleasantries perhaps where the audience knows what's going to happen far before it dawns on Andrew

Good idea, the tone probably needs to be more friendly/jovial at the beginning for the end to have any effect.

Cheers, Steve.

Liked this, agree you could have got a bit more out of Andrew coming back to life.
Maybe when he comes to from the first prodding, there could be another exchange before he gets prodded again.
Good sketch altogether Corey.

Sorry this is a pretty old idea and you don't add much to it.

Steves idea of bringing people back for really trivial reasons maybe more of a winner.

Bugger. Where have you seen it, sooty?

Futurama I think, it just hit me with a big blast of deja vu.

It's kinda the joke that people have been making ever since cryogenics came on the scene.

Ha. Oh well, saves me rewriting it! Thanks sooty and ShandonB.