END OF THE WORLD
A MARRIED COUPLE ARE IN BED.
MAN:
Darling; wake up! Wake up!
WOMAN:
What's the matter?
MAN:
Listen, I don't wish to alarm you...but you're going to be dead in a couple of hours!
WOMAN:
What on earth are you talking about?
MAN:
It's okay; it's okay! I'm going to go with you!
WOMAN:
Look George, I may be open to the idea of a threesome, but a murder-suicide's just not my cup of tea, okay?
MAN:
No, you don't understand - tomorrow's doomsday!
WOMAN:
Well, it will be for you, if you don't allow me to get some beauty sleep!
MAN:
No, seriously; I've just had a premonition!
WOMAN:
Darling, I think you'll find the correct term's 'nightmare'!
MAN:
Oh God, I need to warn people! What's the BBC newsroom's phone number?
WOMAN:
How am I supposed to know that? Besides, you'd be better off contacting Sky News - they're more likely to believe you!