NJ -Wootten

Justin - Last week Wootton Bassett was awarded the prefix "Royal" the first town since nineteen o-nine to receive this honour - although Jeremy Kyle received something similar when he became a royal pain in the arse. The newly named town invited Phillip Hammond to the ceremony, his first outing as defence secretary

Phillip - Come on Hammond it's your time to shine - is that..? Werritty, I see you!

Adam - Hiya!

Phillip - First things first, why are we wearing the same clothes?

Adam - We're twinsys!

Phillip - Did you phone my assistant to ask what I was wearing?

Adam - (As if this suggestion is absurd) No! I was under your bed when you got dressed

Phillip - Mr. Werritty

Adam - My friends call me Adam

Phillip - Mr. Werritty, Liam Fox has gone, why are you here?

Adam - You know how the Tories like to say they inherited the deficit from Labour - at every opportunity? Well you've inherited me

Phillip - But I don't want you?

Adam - You think I wanted my Granddads false leg

Phillip - How can you have three legs and still not have one to stand on?

Adam - You remind me of Liam he was always like this. "What are you doing here, I'm having a shower." I understand you need your space I'll wait for you at your place

Phillip - Stay away from my house

Adam - What about the Werritty room?

Phillip - What?

Adam - It used to be your spare room but with some paper, crayons, sticky tape and a lack of personal boundaries ta-da a Werritty room.

Phillip - I'm not going to let you ruin my career like you did Liam's

Adam - Fine, I don't have to put up with this. Here's your house keys back, your diary, and a picture I took of you when you were asleep (Beat) Before I go can I have your autograph? I have a collection

Phillip - Fine. There

F/X un-crumpling paper

Phillip - Wait this is a contract making me a trustee for your new charity "Keep Werritty in the style he's become accustomed"

Adam - Is it? Oh well. Don't be late your wife is making fajitas for dinner - yummy

END

I'm sure they recorded something like this(?) The making him sign a contract thing and something like the wife line, I'm sure I've heard before.

Don't remember it being broadcast though.

Dan

I did get an email saying they recorded something of mine but it was cut - may have been this

Yeah then. I think it was this.

Anybody else at the recording remember this?

Dan

Yes some of these lines are familiar. They recorded a version of this, with Jason coming over all Kenneth Williams as Werrity.

pleased I posted this because I thought it would have been a jack app they recorded but cut not a sketch - thanks for update

All over him? That's a lot...

Dan

Yes - I remember a number of these lines - unlucky it was cut as it went down quite well. It might be that they were worried about complaints about homophobia, as Justin did camp it up a bit.

Have to say, it was heavily edited but the shower line, giving back keys etc and the "picture I took of you when you were asleep " bit were in. I thought it was pretty funny on the night.