BRIAN IS TALKING TO TOM RESEARCHER
BRIAN
So Tom is the Soybot 3000 ready? 5 years and 3 million quid in research, we're all counting on it.
TOM
Yup it can measure the viability of soya bean planting in 24 diferent kind of soil and select the optimun level of nitrogen in it's feritiliser.
BRIAN
That's amazing Tom and it's tracks work?
TOM
On all gradients it's even amphibious.
BRIAN
Tom you've saved the company and maybe helped end world hunger. And there were no complications?
TOM
Well one or two, if I tell you we had to rename it it might help to explain..
BRIAN
What did you rename it?
TOM
Pedobot.
BRIAN
Pedobot?
TOM
Well it seems somehow the prograiming mutated. All those thousands of lines of code about soya beans interacted with the amphib systems and created an inappropriate interest in kids.
BEN
When did you first notice?
TOM
Little things; asking for photos of Justin Beiber in speedos when requesting it's new supply of seeds, a preference for the videos of the Olsen twins, planting most of it's seeds outside schools.
BEN
This is a disaster.
TOM
It even somehow obtained a couple of cute puppies. Fortunately it's incapable of anything other than behaving in an inappropriate manner.
BEN
And that's some sort of comfort you unbelievable bastard! What precautions have you taken?
TOM
We've registered it as a sex offender, there's been a flyposting campaign at all the schools, it's got a big siren that plays "warning I am a sex offender!" every 5 seconds. As a bonus the siren scares off the gulls that were eating some of the soya seeds.
BEN
Just shut up, just shut up. This is a disaster, how about the robot we were looking for to drill narrow holes for planting sugar cane.
TOM
Oh that, the cat f**ker 3999 is working a treat.
BEN
Get out!
