Hello,
Please take 4 minutes of your life to watch a film about a suicidal man confounded by the petty side of the law.
http://onlineshortfilms.net/watch/suicide-tuesday-video_19063b568.html
Hope you enjoy!
Suicide Tuesday - new comedy from 4qfilms
no no no no no.
Firstly this is incredibly well produced, well lit, shot and the overall production values are excellent. It looks fantastic and I'd love to know more about how you put this together.
Now the plot, you have to be aware that the joke is given away in the first 10 seconds. It's not a particularly new concept for a sketch, but it's ok. What follows is touching, the way you reveal the family and make him tear up the permit is heartfelt. Good use of music and you build emotion very strongly within a very short space of time.
THEN YOU FUCKING EXECUTE HIM. I could scream. Firstly, there are billions of people who end their sketches with their mastery of the "gunshot" function on their editing software. It's a complete cop out finish and clumsily destroys, in the most vicious fashion, the relationship you've skilfully built with the viewer. It leaves you feeling cold, angry and disappointed...and in return for those feelings, I don't even get a laugh, the "health and safety" gag is weak, the way he's executed is weak and it's just a generally hideous end to something that started so well, like finding out Kelly Brook has a cock.
Now I'm being harsh, very harsh, but it's only because with those production values, this sketch deserved a much better ending, you're selling it massively short. There are lots of people on here that will like this ending, but you know in your heart of hearts it doesn't sit with the piece. You've taken time to introduce a family, a wife, a child, and you execute him? WTF?! how is that funny to anyone with a shred of heart?!
You show a lot of skills of a fine film maker...I wouldn't be affected so much if you didn't touch me on some level - so that's a huge compliment. I enjoyed it for 3 minutes...
Anyway - Do you accept submissions for better scripts?!
Very well made and, personally, I couldn't disagree with the previous poster more.
I think the ending is agreeably nihilistic, commenting on the grinding, Kafka-esque way in which these faceless authorities work.
Think of the equally bleak ending of Brazil.
As has been said - not entirely original (Google 'The Odd Job') but very good nonetheless.
Nice film-making.
This really was fantastic. Great pace, great comic performances. Personally, I would've preferred it if he hadn't died, but it fits with the style and structure of the piece. It's a ballsy choice. It's a really fine line with these things and you seem like a confident film-maker, so as long as you knowthat's what you want to happen in your story, then go for it. If you want more people to enjoy the film however, then definitely take comedyoflife's advice.
Had a look at 4q's website - there's a lot of good stuff on there... this stuck out as a nicely original (and very funny) piece.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=wvchec39bWM#!
Hello
Thank you all for watching and sorry my reply is so late. It's interesting the ending splits opinion. To be honest (and this might sound naive) I never thought the film was gong to be as bleak as it was. It was only after I'd finished I watched it and went "oh..."
I think him getting shot at the end shows the officials "doing things to the letter" quite well - always gets a big reaction at screenings. Should he be killed with the last shot? Possibly not but I think the film needs a punctuation mark at the end so I'm going to go with it.
Thanks again for watching and thanks for putting the link up to my site comedyoflife - I'd love to get you guys opinion on more stuff when I put it up online.
All the best
Anton
Well it's well made but I agree it's kinda obvious. I think it might have worked but somehow there was a bit of snap missing from it.
I dunno I kinda saw what was coming to quickly.