British Comedy Guide

NJ: Time Off

Here's one of my three from this week.

Dan

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Time Off
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JUSTIN:
Going to work is a lot like watching internet pornography. A lot of underappreciated effort, using too much toilet paper and, frankly, a massive waste of forty hours per week. Yet this week it transpired that many people are too scared to ask for holidays they are entitled to. To discuss this subject, we have on the line now, the director-general of the BBC, and my boss, Mark Thompson.

THOMPSON:
(D) What is it you want, Edwards!?

JUSTIN:
Erm, yes... oh gracious one. It seems that people are too... erm s-scared to ask for... uhm... t-time off.

THOMPSON:
(D) Frankly, I don't see what all this fuss is about. You've had a holiday, haven't you?

JUSTIN:
Well, of course, s-sir.

THOMPSON:
(D) I've checked the facts, miladdo, and it clearly states you had a Tuesday off in October 2006.

JUSTIN:
But that's almost five years ago, sir.

THOMPSON:
(D) And what? You expect *more* time off!?

JUSTIN:
No! No! Haha! Definitely, *absolutely* not! I wasn't planning on being particularly close to this child anyway, sir. I'm sure my wife can cope with delivering it herself.

THOMPSON:
(D) Good, good! That's what we like to hear! (PAUSE) You're not scared of me, are you Edwards?

JUSTIN:
Good grief, no, sir! Whatever m-made y-you th-think that?

THOMPSON:
(D) Now stop wasting my time and get back to work!

JUSTIN:
Yes, your highness. Thank you very-

F/X:HANGING UP

JUSTIN (CONT'D):
... much.

END

Good opening and I liked the 'child' line but it tailed off at the end and maybe there was space for another gag or two along the way. Could have slotted in well enough though, as it is nice and short.

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