Skit Comp 1 - 10.10.11 Page 2

VOICE ON END OF PHONE:
Due to unexpectedly heavy demand for tea, all our operatives are in the kitchen at the moment, but please continue to hold as the revenue from your call is very important to us. You can also go online and waste your time at www. Oh-bollocks-the-site's-down-what-are-you-going-to-do.com slash your wrists - only to phone back and realise you've lost your place in the queue. Do remember your call may be recorded so if, by some strange quirk of fate, you get to talk to a member of our staff and abuse them... we'll be able to sue you. Now back to that annoying but expensive music track your money has allowed us to purchase for no good reason other than the fact we quite liked the tune.

SFX: Fade up Money, Money, Money by ABBA

INT - CONFERENCE ROOM

A GATHERING OF TRAINEE MANAGERS FOR THE BANK OF ENGLAND SIT AROUND AN EXPENSIVE OVAL TABLE.

THE COURSE LEADER (A WEARY LOOKING GREY HAIRED MAN) STANDS BESIDE A SCREEN PROJECTED ONTO THE WALL. HE BEGINS TO SPEAK.

'FINANCIAL SERVICES - A HISTORY'
HE PROCEEDS DRYLY, OUTLINING THE BEGINNINGS OF THE BANKING SYSTEM, PROFIT MARGINS AND FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY.....ON IT GOES....

THIRTY MINUTES PASS

SUDDENLY THE CONFERENCE ROOM DOOR FLIES OPEN.
IN TUMBLES A COURT JESTER.
GARISH STRIPED LEGS WEARING CURLY SLIPPERS SPRING ACROSS THE ROOM AS HE DOES DOUBLE CARTWHEELS, FINALLY LANDING FACE UP ON THE CONFERENCE ROOM TABLE.

HANDS ON HIPS HE BEGINS TO SPEAK IN A HIGH PITCHED SQUEAK

'Sing a song of sixpence, pocket full of rye, four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie.
When the pie was opened the birds began to sing, oh wasn't it a dainty dish to set before the King?
The king was in his counting house counting out his money, the queen was in the parlour eating bread and honey. The maid was in the garden hanging out the clothes, when down came a blackbird and pecked off her nose.

THE TRAINEE BANKERS SIT IN STUNNED SILENCE.
THE COURSE LEADER'S MOUTH HANGS OPEN.
HE LOOKS UP AT THE SCREEN 'PART 2 OF 5.....INTEREST RATES OVERVIEW AND ANALYSIS'.
HE LOOKS BACK TO THE JESTER, WHO STANDS PROUDLY, HANDS STILL ON HIPS.

COURSE LEADER
Couldn't have said it better myself....anyone for an afternoon down the Dog n Duck?

Ishy for me.

Kasm for me.

I vote for Ishy.

Liked Kasm's but sticking with Otterfox.

Ottsy Foxy for me as well

Mr O Fox for me too.

Really close between Alec, Shirl, Otter and Ishy. But Ishy just edges it for me.

Shirl just pips it from Ishy.