NJ - Timey Wimey

JUSTIN:
Many great scientific breakthroughs were made by accident - Penicillin, Radium. And where would we be if an unexpected side-product of the 50's atomic bomb tests hadn't lead Professor Ernest Haribo to develop his range of tasty sweets. But scientific breakthroughs can sometimes attract unwanted attention...

SCIENTIST 1:
Professor - bad news. You know we got Dark Matter wrong?

SCIENTIST 2:
Yes? Please don't tell me we've got gravity wrong too?

SCIENTIST 1:
Worse. The fundamental law of the Universe that the speed of light can't be broken?

SCIENTIST 2:
Yes.

SCIENTIST 1:
We broke it.

SCIENTIST 2:
You broke the speed of light??

SCIENTIST 1:
Sorry - it was an accident.

SCIENTIST 2:
Oh hell! This means...

SCIENTIST 1:
...What?

SCIENTIST 2:
...Not 'what?' - 'who?'

F/X TARDIS SOUND

SCIENTIST 1:
What on earth...??

F/X DOOR OPENS

DOCTOR WHO:
Hello hello hello!

SCIENTIST 2:
(DEJECTED) Hello Doctor.

DOCTOR WHO:
Gosh, don't you all look serious?

SCIENTIST 1:
This is impossible - we're in a secure lab 2 miles underground!

SCIENTIST 2:
It's ok - the Doctor always seems to turn up in his stupid blue bbox whenever we make a scientific breakthrough.

SCIENTIST 1:
But you can't just waltz in here...!

DOCTOR WHO:
...Waltz! What a great idea! Shall we dance?

F/X WALTZ MUSIC

SCIENTIST 1:
What are you doing?

DOCTOR WHO:
Dancing. I love dancing. It makes me seem wacky and complex, with just a hint of cuddliness.

SCIENTIST 1:
I mean, what are you doing here?

DOCTOR WHO:
You've made incredible breakthroughs. Learned the truth about Dark Matter. Broken the speed of light. You just need one more breakthrough and you can explore time and space.

SCIENTIST 2:
What else do we need?

DOCTOR WHO:
You need to realise that time is wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey.

SCIENTIST 2:
I shouldn't have asked.

SCIENTIST 1:
Wibbly-wobbly?? That doesn't sound like science.

DOCTOR WHO:
Oh, but it is. It's science that's big, important, and terribly clever - just like me.

SCIENTIST 2:
But timey-wimey? Even if time-travel was possible, I doubt it would be so...flippant.

DOCTOR WHO:
Of course time-travel's flippant. Look at me - I've destroyed the universe six times, eaten King Henry VIII and given birth to my own father. Time's hilarious. I am a Dalek! I am a Dalek...!

SCIENTIST 2:
Stop that.

DOCTOR WHO:
(SUDDENLY SERIOUS) Ok, I'm going to be serious now...

SCIENTIST 2:
Oh God - not the sudden mood-change masquerading as depth.

DOCTOR WHO:
The human race - this extraordinary, maddening, wonderful species - is in peril. This massive leap forward in knowledge and technology has put you on the radar of some very dangerous aliens.

SCIENTIST 1:
(EXCITED) Ooh - aliens?

SCIENTIST 2:
Quiet.

DOCTOR WHO:
(FLIPPANT AGAIN) But don't worry - you've got me to guide you through the wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey plinky-plonky dibbledy-bibbledy...

F/X A BANG

SCIENTIST 1:
You shot him!

SCIENTIST 2:
Do you blame me?

SCIENTIST 1:
Well, no. But...I mean...is he dead?

SCIENTIST 2:
No, he'll regenerate. I just hope he comes back as Colin Baker.

Can't believe this is a reject- muppets
Send it other places too.

If NJ didn't use it, try NR.

I can completely see why NewsJack rejected this. It's just not what the show is about.

Of the Star Wars and Doctor Who parodies they do reveive it may be one of the more amusing, but they are never going to broadcast one...

First line is very good.

Then I liked the scientists bit but was a bit disappointed when Dr Who turned up. That said, it's very well-written but does feel like you could chop a lot of it as it seems very long.

Dan

It reads well, but it's not that funny; unless you think Who is annoying, maybe it's aces in that case.

I like him, but yeah - he can be annoying.

It wasn't really intended as a Dr Who parody, but maybe I let it slide too much that way. I'll definitely stay away from digs at the Doc in future.

Quote: Frantically @ September 30 2011, 1:59 PM BST

I like him, but yeah - he can be annoying.

It wasn't really intended as a Dr Who parody, but maybe I let it slide too much that way. I'll definitely stay away from digs at the Doc in future.

View original

Definitely let it slide too far if you didn't mean for it to be a Who parody! As a self-confessed Who geek I thoroughly enjoyed it, but agree it's not very 'Newsjacky'. Also, I realise it's hard to come up with a phrase/concept sillier than 'wibbly wobbly timey-wimey' but as that is genuine Who-speak you'd need to try!