There's definitely something to work with here, it just need re-jigging plus a better ending - a proper punch line.
Tattoo 2060 Page 2
This was something I wrote years ago - when I used to post in Critique.
Just to emphasise that you often live to regret a tattoo.
Quote: Chappers @ May 8 2011, 11:02 PM BSTJust to emphasise that you often live to regret posting in Critique.
Why not make it 2062?
I think the idea's great, but as someone already pointed out it feels a bit like two people saying funny lines rather than a proper conversation.
Perhaps it just needs a change of situation. Instead of waiting for the hoverbus, could you set it with a character seeing a doctor, for example? Or some other embarrassing situation?
Quote: Chappers @ May 8 2011, 11:02 PM BSTThis was something I wrote years ago - when I used to post in Critique.
Just to emphasise that you often live to regret a tattoo.
And writing certain sketches too!
Nice sketch Chappers but Steve Sunshine won't be happy (he is the king of the historical bump).