THE QUEUE
TWO OLD LADIES ARE STANDING IN A QUEUE.
BEYONCE) Excuse me dearie. Have I missed the hoverbus?
Kylie) I’m afraid so. It just took off a couple of minutes ago. Still there’ll be another one in twenty minutes
B) Oh well, at sixty five years old what’s another 20 minutes.
K) You’re 65? You don’t look a day over 50. What’s your name then?
B) Beyonce. Named after that old singer.
K) Oh yes. I remember her. I’m Kylie.
B) Fancy that. Both named after old singers.
K) Oh I do like that Dodo.
B) She was a good singer too.
K) No – your tattoo.
B) What’s that?
K) On your ankle.
B) Oh no. That’s a swallow.
K) Big swallow.
B) That’s water retention for you. Looked lovely when I had it done at 16. I had lovely slim legs then.
K) Have you got any other tattoos then?
B) Oh yes. I did have a delicate little rose on me left bum-cheek. Looks more like a sunflower now though. And I’ve also got this really tasteful scorpion on me shoulder.
K) Mmm. Nice.
B) What about you then? Tattoos like?
K) Course I have – it was all the rage at the start of the millennium wasn’t it. if you didn’t have one you were nothing.
B) So go on then. What else have you got?
K) Well I’ve got “Robbie” on my shoulder.
B) Ooh I wish I had Robbie on my shoulder.
K) We’ve got a coachload from our nursing home going to see him at the London Palladium. It’s his farewell tour.
B) What another one?
K) Well at his age sooner or later it will be his farewell tour.
B) Any more – tattoos?
K) Oh yes. Well I did have this lovely little Bambi on me left boob.
B) Oh yes?
K) Unfortunately now though it looks more like a giraffe.
CLOSE
