David Bussell
Tuesday 1st November 2011 1:16pm
London
9,943 posts
Here's the wild card sketch for all you grammarpusses and smack talkers...
'DRAMNESIA'
By David Bussell
INT. KITCHEN - DAY
TOM IS SAT DRINKING FROM A COFFEE MUG WEARING A DRESSING GOWN AND LOOKING WORSE FOR WEAR. AMY SHUFFLES IN RUBBING HER TEMPLES; ALSO IN A DRESSING GOWN.
AMY:
(APOLOGETIC) Hi.
TOM:
Hey.
AMY:
Big night...
TOM:
Tell me about it.
AN AWKWARD SILENCE, THEN-
AMY:
I'm really sorry about this but... um... I don't remember your-
TOM:
-it's Tom.
AMY:
Tom, yeah! I'm Amy by the way.
TOM:
Right. Amy. Sorry.
THEY SHAKE HANDS. ANOTHER PREGNANT PAUSE, THEN-
TOM (CONT):
Big night.
AMY:
I swear I am never drinking again.
TOM:
I feel like someone stuck an axe in my head. (BEAT) Have you got any Paracetamol?
AMY:
Um, let me just have a look...
SHE HAS A DIG AROUND.
AMY (CONT):
...wait... isn't this... your house?
TOM:
That's right! God, where is my brain at?
AMY:
I know! I mean how much did we drink last night?
SCOTT, A YOUNG MAN, ENTERS CHIRPILY.
SCOTT:
Hi, Mum. Hi, Dad.
TOM AND AMY LOOK AT EACH OTHER, OPEN-MOUTHED.
SCOTT:
Someone took a big shit in the bath.
END SKETCH