NJ: Tinker, Tailor....

GEORGE SMILEY IS TALKING TO CONTROL (WHO IS A LADY IN HER 2OS)

CONTROL
Ah Smiley good to see you, do take a seat. Loved you in that film by the way.

SMILEY
That wasn't me that was Gary Oldman. I've been retired for the last 20 years, well I had to take a job at B&Q Mi5 pensions being what they are.

CONTROL
Ah Tinker, Tailor, Soldier Sales Assisstant eh?

SMILEY
Very funny Control what can I do to help? I can't hang around all day my freedom pass stops working after 7pm.

CONTROL
Well Smiley this is a bit embarassing. Putin's going to be the next president of Russia, so the KGB is running the show again. They've recruited our primeministers and they're knocking off more Russian buillionaires in London then a mayfair tart.

SMILEY
Well what about your current spys, surely one of them can do it?

CONTROL
Well half of them are busy spying on hippys and vegetarians planning to chain themselves to Gypsys caravans and throw lentil curry at George Osbourne.

SMILEY
And the other half?

CONTROL
Under suspension for hacking phones for the news of the world. Smiley the evil empire is back and we need a proper old school spy and that's you. We'll throw in luncheon vouchers.

SMILEY
I'm sorry I can't.

CONTROL
What why not? Lost your taste for the great game? Too many black bag jobs?

SMILEY
No my union are on strike. You're cutting our pensions and making us work past retirement age. Q branch are developing a stealth, machine gun packing mobility scooter!

CONTROL
Get out you bloody lefty! Clear off to Russia where you type are welcome.

SMILEY
I'm leaving Control good luck.

FX DOOR SHUTS

CONTROL (ON INTERCOM)
Send the next one in.

OO7 WALKS IN

007
James Bond 007 at your service, licensed to cross picket lines.

It's good but it's just missing that pizzazz. I think there is something quite static about it and it could do with being framed differently. So, at his retirement party. Or he's not allowed to retire because of the changes in pension, but he's been working his way up to it. Something that's not two people talking.

For what it is, it's funny and there are some good jokes and I laughed. But it feels more News Revue than Newsjack.

Dan

It made me laugh.

thanks both

Listening to Newsjack they seemked to like Ronseal sketches sothat's what I worote was I wrong?

Good idea, a little sloppily executed, with too many different stories covered, Has there been any suggestion of MI5 being involved in the hacking scandal? Wouldn't infiltrating Mosques in Bradford or some such have been the better tack to take? Smiley being called out of retirement does not work too well with the increased retirement age story, at least not as written. And the Q reference prefigures the punch but not in a good way. (The punch incidentally is great - and I don't think I have written that about any other sketch on here today.)

Thanks

I thought the punch was kinda weakish myself

Thanks

I thought the punch was kinda weakish myself