NJ: Berlusconi's Prostitutes

MAN #1cusi, is this the queue for tickets to Take That's fourteenth reunion?

MARIA:No, this is the line for Berlusconi's "room of pleasure".

MAN #1:Ughh, sorry.

ADREANAh Maria, how can we avoid having to service Il Caviliere?

MARIA:It is inescapable; his appetite for women has only ever been matched by Pavarotti's hunger for calzone filled with more calzone.

ADREANA:Think! We must find a way!

MARIA:There is no way.

ADREANA:We could put lipstick around our faces to give the appearance of Herpes!

MARIA:That wouldn't put him off.

ADREANA:Why?

MARIA:He has it already.

ADREANA:Mamma Mia!

MARIA:We have to accept that nothing can deter Silvio, he is 74, smells of sun-aged parmigiano and has hair from 15 Action Men plugged in his head; every act of love-making is a gift from God to him.

ADREANA:Must all eleven of us suffer? Could we not draw straws so only one is to be sacrificed?

MARIAk, ok. We can use the spaghetti in my handbag.

ADREANApaghetti in your handbag? What are you, an Italian stereotype?

MARIA:No, Silvio requires it during love-making, for your sake, don't ask why.

SFXNAPPING SPAGHETTI

MARIA:Right. Everybody draw spaghetti.

SFXERIES OF POSITIVE FEMALE EXCLAMATIONS

MAN #2h no! Please no, not me!

MARIA:It's only fair. You were the one who arranged this.

BERLUSCONIFROM AFAR) NEXT!

SFX:MAN #2 SOBS IN TO THE DISTANCE.

END OF SKETCH

I quite like this. It's a good sketch. The 'calzone in a calzone' is a great line -- my favourite. In fact, lots of good lines and laughs, right amount of characters and solid (rather than great) ending. Maybe needed one of the women saying something else at the end telling him to stop being such a cry-baby (or better).

Well done though. I like-a.

Dan

I'll second what Dan said. It's a good sketch, made me laugh when I was reading it, I can really imagine the voices they'd use for the characters, which I think is a good sign from the writing point of view.

Thanks for the critique, fellas.

Funny stuff.
I liked it.

Some great lines but not such a good punch.

Thanks Steve 'n' Timbo. Radio Rejects had no use for it either.