FX GENERAL HUB BUB OF AN ANGRY MEETING
Frank:
Welcome members of the Liberal Democrat Liberation Front the radical revolutionary branch of the Lib Dems. So Nick Clegg
FX EVERYONE SPITS ON THE FLOOR
Don't spit on the floor, this is my carpet. So we grab Nick Clegg
FX EVERYONE SPITS ON THE FLOOR
Stop that! We grab NC, don't spit and we hold him hostage till all of our demands are met.
Janet:
What exactly are the demands?
Clare:
We're giving Dave two days to dismantle the entire apparatus of the Conservative Imperialist State and if he doesn't agree immediately we chop NC up.
Janet:
Make him into burgers?
Clare:
Don't be disgusting I'm a vegetarian. We cut all his bits off, send 'em back every hour on the hour... show him we're not to be trifled with.
Jenny:
I don't think he'd make a very good trifle.
Frank:
We are not going to eat Nick! No that traitor is going to pay he sold us off to the Conservatives like an undervalued Private Finance Initiative. And what have the conservatives ever done for us?
Clare:
Other than inviting us into the coalition government
Frank:
Ok granted, being actually in power as opposed to complaining about others in power is an improvement.
Jenny:
And he made our leader deputy prime minister
Clare:
Yeh 40 years without so much as a cabinet post and now we've got the second most important post in government.
Frank:
All right, I'll grant you that the coalition and the deputy prime minister are two things that the Conservatives have actually done...
Jenny:
They gave Ming a job, made him feel useful poor old fella
Frank:
OK coalition government, deputy prime minister and giving something for Ming to do during the day.
Jenny:
Liberating Libya
Clare:
We'd have never done that.
Jenny:
Imagine if Charles Kennedy had been in charge!
Clare:
He'd have got drunk and punched the television when Gadaffi was on the news.
Jenny:
Oh yes! True! And they kept us out of the Euro.
Clare:
3 cheers for the conservatives!
Jenny and Clare:
Hip hip hooray!
Frank:
Ok ok other than inviting us into the government, making NC deputy prime minister, giving Ming a job, keeping us out of the Euro and liberating Libya what have the conservatives ever done for us?
Clare:
They've made us the party of power. We're responsible for what ever the government actually decides to do.
Jenny:
We are?
FRANK:
Run!
FX THE MEETING BREAKS UP AND EVERYONE RUNS OFF