Interested to hear any thoughts, comments, etc. on this Newsjack reject. Thanks!
ANNOUNCER:
There now follows an announcement from the Controller of BBC Radio 4 Extra.
CONTROLLER:
Newsjack would like to apologise for its role in the recent phone hacking scandal, in particular for the way that voice messages were obtained for the JackApp.
We would like to assure listeners that these issues were confined to a single rogue presenter acting alone, and are in no way indicative of wider company policy.
The presenter in question, who will not be named here in order to spare his family the embarrassment, has been dealt with accordingly. He is currently incarcerated in a brightly coloured Scottish castle, and when he is eligible for release, he will undergo rehabilitation by presenting light entertainment panel shows on Radio 4.
Although we are certain that these acts were carried out by a single bad apple, we have taken the precaution of closing down the BBC Radio 7 network, and the entire revenue from that station has been donated to a good cause, so now the campaign to save BBC 4 is seven pounds and thirty two pence to the good.
Finally, I would like to confirm that all of the information I have relayed here is correct, apart from the bits that I may have forgotten, or wasn't aware of, or just plain lied about.
Thank you for listening.
