My efforts:
The ending of the best before date on food doesn't bother me in the slightest... I'm a cannibal (FX MUNCH/ FX SCREAMS).
I've just spotted Gadaffi. Yes, there we go, I'll just put a big x down there. I love playing Spot The Despot.
As an inventor I was thrilled to be asked to appear on Dragon's Den. Unfortunately my product didn't make it up the stairs. It was a slinky.
As a dyslexia sufferer I would like to congratulate the Queen on awarding an OBE to The N-Foz.
In the week that saw The Fonz receive an OBE. The Queen was said to be slightly bemused when he asked to receive his award in the Palace's male toilet.
"Man, man, man, man, man, man, man"...And that's the Dutch stalker who called a man 65,000 times. More from her later.
With her global empire estimated to be around £400 million. Peppa Pig responded to positive news on the markets by jumping up and down in muddy puddles.
Liked these ones from the thread.
* I hear they're making a Postman Pat movie. I'm sure it will do well at the box office, unless they lose it of course.
- Chris Huhne telling us we're lazy with our energy bills, well we've already got two for one on leaders so now Chris Huhne can BOGOF too!
Apparently Britons apologise for someone else's mistakes 8 times a day. I'm sorry but that can't be right.
Anarchy OK. The new magazine for the celeb obsessed girl who wants to bring down the state. This week smashing handbags or smashing shop windows?