British Comedy Guide

Thought I'd put myself up for a pasting... Page 8

Quote: Clare Harrison @ September 17 2011, 12:11 PM BST

don't tel me to take care of myself, its you who should be worried about that, don't patronise me you middle class twat who has had everything on a plate in life! There are some really amazing people on here who deserve to put people in their place like me, I do deserve to be put in my place I admit that, but only by people who talk the talk like this Jack guy, yeah he slated me but I deserved it and he also talked some really good stuff and played the game intelligently. You however, steam in and put people down, you even picked on some guys script to the extent of just trying to filter out ONE word, yes just one word that didnt mean anything, go and be a bloody English teacher becausethat's the only thing you seem good at, correcting peoples English! I know my English is not great but I didnt have the oportunities like you have having had it all on a plate. Plus ive spoken to a few people who have heard of you and they think you are trying too hard to be funny and are not. I tried to make peace with you and let this all go and you cant, so if you want to carry on battling with me I will because until you "let it lie" im gonna come back like a bad case of herpes! Pirate

I've never once corrected your English and my being middle class is a matter of debate (mum works on the cheese counter at Waitrose and dad's a retired gas fitter). Certainly there are people out there who don't appreciate my brand of comedy but I'd be surprised if they were contacting you privately to share their feelings. I suspect that might be a case of pot-stirring on your part.

Okay, I'll bow out now and let you throw in some more personal insults if you like. I'd wish you well but that hasn't worked in my favour so far, so I'll simply say good bye. Good bye.

RE: Jack Daniels, YOU are the coolest guy on here, what you said to me is what ive been waiting for all along, if only I didnt hear this when it all started. Thanks for being straight with me, I sincerely appreciate it and I do deserve to be told off and I take that on the chin and appologise. You are the first person to really make me laugh about myself "with the wine stained mid life crisis" THAT made me laugh my lils off. YOU are the kind of person who I feel has the right to tell people what to do on here. I wish you were my agent.

I LOVE This bit , I wish you would write a book for people like me.
: Nine) Relax. Stop stressing. Life is short. Accomplish every dream you have, no matter how stupid or slight, just do your absolute best. If you want to make a short film, do it. A podcast? Easy. Open mic, easy. Draft a novel, sketch a comic strip. Stop being so negative because you'll lose and carry regret into old age. If you have a good idea, chase it. Don't stutter or put it off, chase it like a motherf**ker because the second you give up, that's the story of you... what could've been.

In keeping with the positive karma, here's my last bit of lightweight food for thought before I wander off again:

Good luck, and calm down.

Quote: Jack Daniels @ July 20 2011, 12:04 AM BST

If you're going to try, go all the way. Otherwise don't even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives, jobs, and maybe your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery, isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance. Of how much you really want to do it. And you'll do it, despite rejection in the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you're going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods. And the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It's the only good fight there is.
THAT should quote should be in the hall of fame and up with the greats. I feel like ive ticked many of those boxes, the jobs won't even employ me, my last job as a court usher I ended up doing stand up in the waiting room whilst people cried about divorces, I upset some Judges with my comedy, I had to leave my boyfriend in cornwall in 2006 when I decided to be an actress after being on some reality Tv shite thing about my life....... All my realtionshits- (shits) havent worked since then because im too focused. Ive put having kids and marriage on hold, I ended up writing a screen play for kids last year and this took up all my life and ended the relationship I had at the time, I felt like I was on Saturn and I even went there a few times at 5am when I was writing. Mozart helped. I was homeless in February and yes I did sleep on a park bench, ive been skint since 2006 and live off very little a day, I have an autoimmume disorder called graves disease and have been ill and now am well, sort of... I do need to calm down though like you said.

Ive managed to talk lovely kind people into letting me stay in their house whilst I try to "make it". I had to use my first acting showreel, my presenting showreel and my screen play and comedy showreel rejection letters as bog roll because even Lidl is too expensive. Ive been to jail but only for one night and that was ten years back but CRB check came back ok as it was only for drugs- personal use before I went to India to become a yoga teacher. Ive lost many friends because of my ambitions and dreams and had to "cut my cloth". My family were ashamed of my sketches for a long time but they now "know" what I want and that ill do what I can to make it.

Jack, your post was what I wanted all along. THANK YOU for being you and putting me in my place and putting it all into perspective. I love you in a non thespian way but in a brotherly thank you gratitude way.

Oh and one last thing: Ten) Start using the space bar in your posts. ha ha ha that made me chuckle too, ive been told off before, but ive got all this mad stuff in my head and it just comes out , I do need to put things in paragraphs and I need an editor but one day, one day when all this hard work and suffering has paid off im sure ill get one. I prefer acting not writing . Ive got big plans to do great things, I lived in India for seven months and saw poverty unlike the poverty im currently living in, I saw things that would make some peoples arses wink, when ive made it im going back there to set up some cool stuff to alieviate some poverty, my vision is not all about me like some people on here think. Do you think in space they have bars, I bloody hope so beacause im going to shoot the moon and after that im going to need a drink. Thanks Jack you fantastic person. xxx

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I didn't know she came from Brazil

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NON SEQUITER!!!!!!

Errr Don't be nasty guys, amazing revelations going on, I understand the 'stream of conscience' that is displayed here.

After all it is titled 'Thought I'd put myself up for pasting'

Quote: Jack Daniels @ September 17 2011, 10:12 AM BST

advice means little.

Couldn't you have just cut down your thesis to this then Jack? :)

Quote: Jack Daniels @ September 17 2011, 11:20 AM BST

Don't be a prick, it's the truth.

F*ck me - just when you thought it was safe to put away the 'Acme Arsehole Detector'.....

Jack Daniels in the second coming.....

Toys back in the pram now Jack? More f*ckin comebacks then Frank Sinatra!

When you get a muscle spasm from blowing smoke up your own arse - let us know.

Rolling eyes Juan stop stirring man, any comment regarding the actual thread?

Quote: dellas @ September 19 2011, 9:49 PM BST

Rolling eyes Juan stop stirring man, any comment regarding the actual thread?

About getting a pasting you mean? Or am I missing something here?

Quote: Marc P @ September 19 2011, 10:07 PM BST

About getting a pasting you mean? Or am I missing something here?

Who rattled your cage Mr Wannabee Comedy 'bleeding heart' Guru?
I thought youd be too busy checking out the Thai ladyboys on your webcam.

Quote: dellas @ September 19 2011, 9:49 PM BST

Rolling eyes Juan stop stirring man, any comment regarding the actual thread?

Not really, it's like most other threads on here - dominated by the 'let's see who can make the most number of pointless posts 'cos we aint got a life' members - who post in ridiculous quantities.

Full marks to the girl who rattled Jack Daniels though. Quality pious lecture from him - in true c*ck mode. :$

Quote: Juan Kerr @ September 19 2011, 10:41 PM BST

Not really, it's like most other threads on here - dominated by the 'let's see who can make the most number of pointless posts 'cos we aint got a life' members - who post in ridiculous quantities.

You utter, utter goatf**ker.

Quote: Juan Kerr @ September 19 2011, 10:41 PM BST

Who rattled your cage Mr Wannabee Comedy 'bleeding heart' Guru?
I thought youd be too busy checking out the Thai ladyboys on your webcam.

Interesting. I posted something in your defence. But hey. :D

I dunno Marc these days these forums are like a cutprice invasion of the body snatchers.

I do forsee the day that it'll be nothing but the same person having endless arguments with themselves.

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