HEAD MASTER ADRESSING AN ASSEMBLY
HEAD
Good morning school.
PUPILS AS ONE (PAO)
Good morning sir any comments on the allegation you're a child abuser!
HEAD
Welcome to St Streets of Shame. The first independent school to be staffed entirely by ex News of the World Journalists.
PAO
It's much better than that one that fat git Toby Young opened!
HEAD
Now I have reason to believe some of you haven't been doing your homework. Stand up Arsehole Major.
ARSEHOLE MAJOR
But sir you didn't set any.
HEAD
Every one else managed to tap my phone, 6 months detention.
ARSEHOLE MAJOR STARTS SNIVELLING
HEAD
Oh stop snivelling you arsehole. Rupert Murdoch will pay your bail.
Right now where's the school choir?
PAO
Doing 50 lines in the school toilets...allegedly.