MILES
Tonight on News Jack we speak to the new government minister for cutting red tape and namby pamby complaining. Rubber Stamp.
ROBERT
That's Robert. And yes the government has decided ordinary citizens should no longer be terrorised from perfectly reasonable planning applications, by NIMBY neighbours and council office apparatchicks.
MILES
Ordinary citizens like the chief executive of Tescos?
ROBERT
Yes just because he commands a mulit billion pound empire that would be the envy of any Bond villain, why shouldn't he have permission to build a new shed on his land?
MILES
A shed with a 24 hour Tesco attached, next to the Tesco Metro and behind the other Tesco Metro. Is the government not worried that it might be destroying character of English villages by permittin yet more unwanted Tesco superstores?
ROBERT
Oh Miles. If 90% of English have at least 2 unwanted Tescos, that is their character.
MILES
But what about if people start building where the government doesn't want them to? I understand some of the Dale Farm evictees are asking for planning permission to open a pig farm and 24 hour disco next to the Primeminister's country residence Chequers.
ROBERT
Oh erm I don't know.
MILES
And there's a complaint put in about, the smell, loud squealing, all night parties and dodgy foreign types hanging out.
ROBERT
Oh you've got your facts muddled up Miles.
MILES
How?
ROBERT
That's the travellers complaining about Dave Cameron inviting Sarkozy and Berlusconni for a Bunga Bunga party.