MARY IS STANDING WITH A PLUIMBER LOOKING AT A TOILET IN HER CHINTZY BATHROOM, EVERYTHING IS PINK THE TOILET HAS A FURRY COVER, AND ONE OF THEM DOLLY COVERS FOR AN ARSE ROLL.
PLUMBER
Well looks alright love, what seems to be the trouble?
MARY
Something horrible happens when ever I flush the lavatoire.
PLUMBER
Well show us then.
MARY
Must I?
PLUMBER
Yes.
MARY FLUSHES THE CHAIN
ABOUT A THOUSAND GALLONS OF STICKING EXCREMENT FLYS OUT OF THE TOILET INTO THE AIR COATING HER, THE PLUMBER AND THE ENTIRE BATHROOM
A MONSTEROUS VOICE COMES FROM THE TOILET
TOILET VOICE
Shit, c**t, f**k, your mother sucks satan's cock in hell, you lesbian whore bag donkey raping blood clot! Hail Satan!
PLUMBER
Oh that's easy, you've got an evil blockage in your ubend.
MARY
An evil blockage?
PLUMBER
Yeh been having any satanic rituals here? Worshipping the unholy goat? FLushing aborted foetuses down the toilet!
MARY
No I have not! How dare you...
PLUMBER(INTERRUPTING)
Think I found the problem.
HOLDS UP A COPY OF THE DAILY MAIL THAT WAS NEXT TO THE TOILET
Reading this on the crapper?
MARY
It helps me go.
TOILET VOICE
To hell!
TOILET SPRAYS MARY AND THE PLUMBER WITH EXCREMENT AGAIN