British Comedy Guide

Slack May

EXT. STREET. NIGHT. A COUPLE OF HOOKERS ARE CHATTING.

HOOKER 1:
I've had one john tonight, I've usually went through six by now.

HOOKER 2:
Slack May's getting all the trade these days even though she's twice our age and has a face like a drunken dog.

HOOKER 1: She's probably giving blow jobs with her teeth out. The novelty will wear off soon.

HOOKER 2:
Look, she's coming, let's question her.

SLACK MAY (60 YEAR OLD) APPROACHES THE OTHER TWO HOOKERS.

HOOKER 1:
What's your trade secret May, how you attracting all these johns?

HOOKER 2:
Go on May, spill.

SLACK MAY:
It's the recession girls, we have to be adaptable. I'm a businesswoman you know.

HOOKER 1:
Can't see you guesting on Dragons Den all the same.

SLACK MAY:
Ok, I like you pair, here's the deal... I've brought out a loyalty card scheme. Regulars who have paid for five shags get the sixth one on the house....
Shit! What time is it?

HOOKER 1:
It's ten o'clock.

SLACK MAY:
Crikey, must dash. Ten to Eleven is happy hour, all shag's half price.

SLACK MAY GETS INTO A PARKED CAR. THERE IS A QUEUE OF PARKED CARS BEHIND ALL WITH ONE MALE PASSENGER.

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