Couple of Jordan sketches

JORDAN GETS MARRIED - AGAIN

JORDAN:
Well, I've tried marrying everyone else, this is my last chance.

VICAR:
Do you, Katie Price, take Frankie Boyle as your lawfully wedded husband, to love and obey, in sickness and in health, 'til death do you part?

JORDAN:
I do.

VICAR:
I now pronounce you man and slag - I mean wife!
You may kiss the slag.

THEY KISS.

FRANKIE:
Right, well I'm glad you agreed to that love and obey bit. Now where's that son of yours, we're having him put down.

JORDAN BOOK READING

JORDAN AT A BOOK READING, READING FROM HER LATEST NOVEL.

JORDAN:
...and then he chucked his white pudding in her gob. "Mmmm, that's spermtastic" she said.

APPLAUSE.

FAN:
How romantic!

JOURNALIST:
So Jordan, what was the message behind your grubby excuse for a book?

JORDAN:
Basically, it's that I like cock. Cock, money, fame and spunk. That's what I like.

JOURNALIST:
(Yuck)

The first one made me smile, sort of.

The second one I thought was wonderful. Jordan reading from her book, and it been that sort of 'spermtastic' thing is a f**king funny idea. The sketch left me wishing more was wrung out of the idea.

Thanks JD, food for thought I suppose... More from her book you mean?

Yeah, more really stupid prose that's meant to titilate or be salacious but is done badly. Makes me laugh picturing your sketch.

Although, I wouldn't to encourage spoiling your gem by suggesting overkill. Either way it's funny.

Yeah, thanks. They say to always leave 'the audience' wanting more, it's just a question of how much more!

First one is funny in that you got the Frankie Boyle spot on and a funny idea having him marry Jordan.

Book reading one I liked more, you could still do a lot with that one in terms of contrasting the book dialogue with the journalists comments. Good stuff.