Sootyj rehashed sketch into standup.

Hi I have about half a dozen standup gigs coming up.

And like a striking coprophile.

I want to do the minimun work whilst resycling my old shit.

So I'm going to turn some of my favourite old skits into standup segments.

I'll post the links and the rjigged bits here. All feedback welcome.

https://www.comedy.co.uk/forums/thread/13476/

It's a tough time for newsagents. Online news papers on the one putting your paper boys out of business. Tesco Metro opening up in any piece of land big enough to hold a midget cashier and a bag of funsize marsbars. And that good old standby porn, well the internet can offer more filth in one day then even the most depraved soul could use in an entire life time.

But my sympathy can stretch only so far.

Just the other day I'm at my local newsagent.

Making a complaint.

This Daily Mail you sold me it's all wrong.

Ah mr Sootyj of it's wrong for a lefty, pointy headed, muesli guardian reader like yourself...sir

No I mean it's front page story is about your mother in law still visiting after 2 weeks. The politics section is on why it's illegal to evict mothers in law. And the problem page is on mothers in law ruining news agent owners sex lives and blocking their toilets.

She is a horrid women.

But not worthy of the attention of Britain's 3rd most popular newspaper. And as for Loaded.

Oh Mr Sootyj you know the quality of articles has wained with the readership. No readers no big name writers.

No it's the photoshoot.

Ah yes the Lovely Holly Valance. I think she maybe the new Kylie Minogue, did you know nuns taught her to belly dance?

That's as maybe. But Holly Valance does not have a monobrow running into her monobrow and doesn't ressemble Susan Boyle in a bin bag. It's your mother in law isn't it?

Yes I caught her with my camera whilst she naps. I thought there was some similarity from a certain angle..

No there bleeding isn't! Look Mr Newsagent bloody admit you've been faking your news papers for weeks now. The Good Food monthly, that's all about cheesy quavers. The Empire magazine reviewing your wedding video and as for the pornography.

Oh yes the pornography.

Yes the pornography. Namely asian shemales get shameless.

Aah that one, yes I did fake that one. Do you want your money back?

No I want to star in it. Phwwooor Susan Boyle eh who wouldn't.

It didn't really work for me, sooty. The narrative style felt clunky, whether you could iron that out when spoken aloud I'm not sure. Daily Mail bashing leaves me cold too so I might not be the best judge but the nugget of the idea could be condensed to be part of something rather than the main feature. All the best with it I hope you prove me wrong.

It's not really bashing the Daily Mail though? More one misdirection joke.

Does it not come over that I'm acting out a 2 way dialogue, would it help if I labelled the roles/

I don't think it's necessary to label it, I think it is and would be clear who was saying what (especially if you put a slightly offensive voice on to do the newsagent). I think you could rework the concept of the newsagent fabricating his own news stories to a better end; some more outlandish make believe stories might help.

Thanks I might lose the intro and knock some words.

I quite like keeping the examples a little low key it gives a parralel narrative.

It's good as a sketch but I don't think the whole thing would work as a standup routine, I think it needs a freshening up in a big way.
I wonder if you could come up with something about how the papers now all have an online presence, who reads the papers online v who still pops to the corner shop e.t.c...can understand you wanting to use the stuff you've already written but I'd imagaine that standup needs something with a bit more 'pep'.

I think you should trawl through all your posts and turn the funniest ones into stand up material!

It could maybe do with a higher gag rate, but as Ive said before, with the right delivery etc you're certainly a good enough writer to do well at stand up, though I think gags and one liners would suit you much better than story telling.

Hm thanks for advice, I'm not a fan of gag realing standup.

I do have about a couple of dozen I sprinkle through out, but I do like to have a few longer form gags.

Actually, readng it again, it should work pretty well, though there seems to be one or two words missing which made it hard to follow at times.

That could be the story of my life!

Ta

I'm not really digging this after a couple of readings. Think it's below a standard you'd be happy with. There's a good idea in it somewhere, but, I don't know. Just my worthless opinion of it, of course.

I think it's a good idea, but maybe to weird for standup.