This was a review I undertook some time ago for part of my portfolio of parody commercials and reviews. Unfortunately I can't seem to add the image of the book here which is a shame because that really adds to the humour! It was reviewed along with the Guinness Book of British Shit Singles, Underwater Arc Welding with The Rubettes and The Observers Book Of Scummmy Neighbours
The Dummies Guide to Sexually Assaulting Sweets
What a winner this one! I'm a complete novice when it comes to raping a Crunchie bar but this book gives a step by step tutorial on exactly how to master the art.
Complete with graphic images of crowds of Maltesers being stalked through the streets of Bournville. No self respecting confectionary fiddler would want to be without this one.
A comprehensive and detailed map indicating exactly where all the sweets meets are. Have you ever wondered what's the best way to approach a score of unopened Aztec bars.*
All in all a very informative book for both novice and expert alike. A signed limited edition copy comes complete with a Fry's Turkish Delight and pair of chocolate brown boxers! A Deluxe Gold edition comes complete with The Acme Anal Intruder and a 6 month prison sentence.
* You must be at least 45 years old to remember these choccy bars.