This is excellent! You're going to find it much easier to attract professionals to work with you on the strength of this. Have you visited shootingpeople.org? Visually it's very strong and creates a mood which kept me watching to the end.
New Short Film - Voices Page 2
Stuart can i just say what a beautifully crafted short film. It was so smooth and touching. I loved the accompanying music, it really drew me to the piece.
I have made a few short films myself and i loved the editing on yours. Really spectacular choice of shots as well.
I also enjoyed the twist that the gruff voice was his.
I am so glad you're entering it!! 
OK… overall I thought this was a fine movie. The production and direction is good, although not entirely to my taste… but that’s just my taste and doesn’t reflect on the production quality in any way.
The music was good too… excellent start… a little ‘airy’, especially in the middle with those tinny/thin strings which overbear slightly (the bench shots) but all in all it does the movie no end of justice.
I’m not keen on the VO… not the words, just the actual voices… both gentle and gruff. I found the gentle one to be too amateur sounding and the gruff one to be too… well, at odds with the piece. I’m guessing this is the idea but I think it may have gone too far?
It’s hard to define amateur sounding, I realise. It’s in the delivery… and the ‘over-earnest’ feel which I think lets it down. I spent many years in recording studios when I was a session player, listening to the recorded voice (sung and spoken) and, practice and training aside, I believe that you either have it or you don’t. To my mind, that guy doesn’t. I hasten to add, it’s not terrible… not at all… just doesn’t quite work. And in a VO-driven movie, the vocal needs to be absolutely on the money.
Similarly, the boss’s vocal was too exaggerated… and I don’t feel it worked. I know that those nasal tones of authority can be quite funny but it just felt a little forced.
There’s a bit in the script (at approx 2:23) where he says: ‘… there’s the rub.’ I’m not sure if I missed something (I did listen to this more than once) but the order of his sentences leading to this doesn’t sound quite right. He’s referring to the fact that his job is not ‘entertaining’ but ‘easy’? If that’s the case, BUT he’s happy with this state of affairs anyway… where is this ‘rub’ exactly? Or am I grasping the wrong end of the stick?
I loved the section where he’s getting the money from the cash-point… a great mood there with the long-held shot. However, this is one of those bits in the movie where I wasn’t sure if I was watching a documentary or a drama. Ultimately, it can be anything you want it to be of course… but I wonder if it might be a good idea to portray the overall feel of the piece in more concrete a manner? If it does indeed achieve exactly the feel and mood you’re after, then ignore me… it’s obviously (again) just a taste thing.
I didn’t guess that he had put ‘his money on Wales’… until he said so. Should I have guessed it before that vocal… or is it that I’m not supposed to know until I’m told? If he’s listening to sport on the radio, why is there music playing? Would it be better to have a sports commentator, with the game going on? Surely, sometimes it’s better to keep it more obvious/simple? Again, if I’m missing the point, I apologise.
The fact that he’d found a girl - or the way in which it was revealed that he found a girl - didn’t work somehow. I know that he tells us how it happened… but I reckon it would be better if we see it. It could be something as simple as that classic ‘look’ across an empty park bench. The rest we can assume nicely… that his life appears to be falling into place… ultimately because he’s listened to the new voice.
What’s the ending supposed to be telling us? That he shouldn’t have listened to the new voice after all… because he now has no money? If that’s the case, is finding a girlfriend a bad thing… or is life still OK because he has her and it doesn’t matter about the money?
Or is it that life does what it wants to do, regardless of an apparently helpful voice?
I was half expecting the girl to have her own ‘voice’… with some kind of twist involved.
Anyway… I realise that my ramblings could be constituted as something quite negative but it’s not the case. I really liked the movie and it held my attention throughout. Mine and others’ opinions aside, you have a lot going for you and time and practice can only sharpen your skills and talent. I hope you have the success you so obviously deserve.
As an editor, I really liked the pace at the beginning and the introduction of the character. I also really liked the way that you couldn't really see what his job was until the reveal, and generally to whole look was really professional. I'd love to see it on a higher quality screen etc.. This should be on the BBC Short Film Network if it's not already. Well done. 
Because I'm a completist, I just had to:
Hearing Things: The Making of Voices http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Of_YrICUhYw
Lots of new people on the forum, thought I'd give my short film Voices another airing.
Stuart that was fantastic. Absolutely brilliant!!
I didn't get that the gruff voice was his either, but I still loved it. Now I know it's just doubled my appreciation for it.
Can't you re-shoot the last scene? Maybe increase the light a bit or something so compression won't make a difference?
Anyway, I just realised I forgot to rate it, so I'm gonna go back and give it 5 it so definitely deserves it.
The annoying thing with the last scene is that the original footage and any DVDs we make are all exposed as we intended but for some reason the youtube compression has obscured that shot. Annoying really.