Arrest by appointment

Close up of a knock on the outside of an office door.

Secretary puts phone to chest
"Come in!"

Two policemen walk in. The policemen meekly exchange in whisper:
Policeman 1
"You ask her!"
Policeman 2
"No, you ask her!"
Policeman 1
"Fine!"

Policeman 1 approaches the desk, policeman 2 stands back.

Secretary mouths "1 minute" and gestures a 1.

Policeman 1 waits patiently while the secretary finishes her conversation. It turns out she's talking to her mum.

Secretary
"How can I help you?"

Policeman 1
"I'd - We'd like to make an appointment to arrest Mr Mann, please."

Policeman 1 turns around looking for reassurance and policeman 2 gestures a thumbs up. Secretary flicks through diary.

Secretary
"I'm sorry but Mr Mann is fully booked until July 2012. Is that OK?"

Policeman 1
"Crikey, erm, is there anyway he could fit us in earlier? Only it's kind of important."

Secretary
"Right, I understand that but if we prioritised some over others it wouldn't be fair would it?"

Policeman 1
"Of course not, no. Erm... Well I think we'll leave it then."

Secretary
"Are you sure?"

Policeman 1
"Yeah. Thanks for your time."

Policemen leave.

Really good little sketch.

I'm sure there's a good sketch in here because the "arrest by appointment" idea is great, but I'm not sure this really delivers. The logic of who makes the appointment isn't there for me. Sorry.

I know someone who had to ring up the police to arrange an appointment for his own arrest on a common assault charge. Then the policewoman due to arrest him missed the appointment.

There's a great idea in there.
I did like the sketch

There's a great idea in there.
I did like the sketch

It was so good I liked it twice

Quote: Jack Daniels @ August 10 2011, 4:48 PM BST

Really good little sketch.

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Cheers man!

Quote: Badge @ August 10 2011, 11:06 PM BST

I'm sure there's a good sketch in here because the "arrest by appointment" idea is great, but I'm not sure this really delivers. The logic of who makes the appointment isn't there for me. Sorry.

View original

Yeah, I'm sure there are many different ways to go with it - parody, satire, you name it! I too thought it was ripe for comedy and thanks for your critique.

Quote: chipolata @ August 10 2011, 11:21 PM BST

I know someone who had to ring up the police to arrange an appointment for his own arrest on a common assault charge. Then the policewoman due to arrest him missed the appointment.

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That is a fantastic anecdote! Thanks for sharing!

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ August 12 2011, 9:52 PM BST

There's a great idea in there.
I did like the sketch

There's a great idea in there.
I did like the sketch

It was so good I liked it twice

View original

Thanks!

Thanks!

Your comment was so good I thanked it twice!

Now, I don't want to be an obnoxious bumping-double poster but I feel I haven't been critiqued enough. Not that I'm a masochist, just someone looking to improve their writing!

Would someone care to oblige?

Quote: G Man @ August 18 2011, 7:45 PM BST

I feel I haven't been critiqued enough.

View original

Classic.

I quite like the uppityness of this comment and wish I could deconstruct and analyse your sketch but there's not much more I can say, it's interesting, funny but it's a fairly common target and could've easily been put across in three or four lines.

The joke being; The police have so few rights/inclination to be harsh these days that the criminal can actually put his own arrest off. That's it, right?

One of the weekly comps here on Law/Order had a few that played with Police leniency, it's a fairly obvious riff.

Yours was a good sketch, funny, you got a few thumbs ups. Better to move on from one sketch and rather than dwell, just write the next or maybe, take the few minutes to read and opinionate on bits posted by the people you feel should be spending time on yours. The more time you spend writing the better you get, so goes the theory, is this was a first - then it's an excellent debut and a shows a solid grasp of sketch structure, set up and pay off. The absurd within the regular scenario plays well here.

But remember, nobody owes you anything, most members and passing non members will read but only those who care enough to try and help will offer their opinion if it's something they feel they have something constructive to say. It's just easier to read what's up and then move on.

Some folk only have a few minutes to try and skim through different threads, posts, and regardless of what you 'feel' people don't change their habits and silence tends to speak for itself.

By the way, your Doctor's sketch was very, very good.
The weather sketch, a little so-so.