Dog Tales

INT. PET SHOP

The shop bell rings as a customer enters. He strolls up to the counter and smiles at the shopkeeper.

CUSTOMER
(singing)
How much is that doggie in the window? The one with the waggly tail.

SHOPKEEPER
(deadpan)
Five-hundred quid.

CUSTOMER
Whoa! What about that other dog I saw?

SHOPKEEPER
The one covered in shit and flies?

CUSTOMER
Yeah, how much?

SHOPKEEPER
Fifty.

CUSTOMER
I'll take it!

END

I gone and got stuck. Any ideas on where to take this? Is it even worth it?

Alternative start...

CUSTOMER
How much is that doggie in the window?

SHOPKEEPER
(deadpan)
The one with the waggly tail? You wanna know how much it is?

CUSTOMER
Yeah, I do hope it's for sale.

HA! Made me laugh. ALthough might be better just have him leave after finds out the price?

CUSTOMER (singing)
How much is that doggy in the window?

SHOPKEEPER (sings back)
The one with the waggly tail?

CUSTOMER (singing)
Yes, how much is that doggy in the window?

SHOPKEEPER (Deadpan)
He's not for sale mate.

Customer enters playing a guitar.

CUSTOMER
(singing/strumming)
How much is that doggy in the window? The one with
the waggily tail...

SHOPKEEPER
(deadpan)
How much is that doggy in the window?

CUSTOMER
(nods/singing/strumming)
I do hope that doggy's for sale...

SHOPKEEPER
(Angry)
Well it ain't! So get the f*ck out of here!!

Shopkeeper leaps over the counter and forcibly ejects the customer.
He picks up the dropped guitar and throws it out after him.

SHOPKEEPER
And take your f*cking guitar with you! C*nt!

I like the 'leaves straight away when he finds out it's £500'

Cheers people. I getcha!

Quote: Shandonbelle @ August 5 2011, 7:17 PM BST

CUSTOMER (singing) How much is that doggy in the window? SHOPKEEPER (sings back) The one with the waggly tail? CUSTOMER (singing) Yes, how much is that doggy in the window? SHOPKEEPER (Deadpan) He's not for sale mate.

View original

This is my favourite variation. Simple and punchy.

CUSTOMER
How much is that doggy in the window?

OWNER
The one with a waggly tail?

CUSTOMER
No the one with a sexy arse

OWNER
£50 you sick f**k

CUSTOMER
I do hope it's a male.

I see series potential. There must be lots of children's songs ripe for exploitation.

Quote: evan rubivellian @ August 6 2011, 10:58 AM BST

I see series potential. There must be lots of children' ripe for exploitation.

View original

You are Ronald McDOnald and I claim my 5 pounds.

Quote: Shandonbelle @ August 5 2011, 7:17 PM BST

CUSTOMER (singing)
How much is that doggy in the window?

SHOPKEEPER (sings back)
The one with the waggly tail?

CUSTOMER (singing)
Yes, how much is that doggy in the window?

SHOPKEEPER (Deadpan)
He's not for sale mate.

View original

Nice initial idea Lee