Favourite limerick

There was a young lady from Bude
Who stood in a queue in the nude
A young man at the front
said I smell c**t
Out loud, just like that, f**king rude.

There once was a young poet, named Dan
Whose limericks never would scan
When told this was so,
He said "Yes, I know
'Cause I try to put every possible syllable into the last line that I can."

In the garden of Eden sat Adam,
massaging the tits of his madam,
he chuckled with mirth,
for he knew that on earth,
there were only two boobs - and he had 'em

There was an old throwback called Kipper
He'd been that way since a nipper
He was racist and sexist
But was changed for the bestest
When he married that horny black stripper.

(Oh if only that last bit were true) sigh.

There once was a guy called Juan Kerr
Took his girl on a ride at the fair
Whilst fondling her tit
She said 'lower a bit'
'And please get your fingers in there'

My favourite? Well I've forgotten the words, but the tune is:

Da da da da da da da,
De da da da de da,
De da da da da,
De da da da da,
Da da da da da de da.

There once was a man called Will Cam
Whose penis was shaped like a ham
With the speed of a bullet
He'd push it and pull it
To baste it in Will Cam man-jam

I think my limerick looks rather mild.

There was a young vicar called Shaggy
Whose ballsack was hairy and baggy
But his wife was the best
With a thunderous chest
And a fanny both cheesy and claggy.

'Claggy', surely?

Quote: shaggy292 @ August 4 2011, 9:58 PM BST

'Claggy', surely?

View original

You know her better than I do

Mrs Shaggy is nodding her head.

Mrs Shaggy whilst nodding her head
Tied Shaggy face down on the bed
To make fun of her clam
With some twat called Will Cam
Calls for fisting until he be dead

There was a young man called Danny
Who had both a cock and a fanny
On his conjugal bed
Danny's groom scratched his head
Unsure if his wife was a tranny

This is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me in my life.