Pinfall

This is a new sitcom idea I had. It follows the exploits of a rubbish wrestling school (like from the ITV days). Kind of goofy, but would welcome some crit on it. This is the first draft of the first scene.

PINFALL SCENE 1

TWO BURGLARS OUTSIDE A HOUSE. BURGLAR 1 HAS A TORCH - SCRATCHING HIS HEAD. BURGLAR 2 HAS A HAMMER.

BURGLAR 1:They can't be in.

BURGLAR 2:They aren't. Are we gonna do this or what?

BURGLAR 1:I don't like it.

BURGLAR 2:What does this house say to you?

BURGLAR 1:Expensive...tidy.

BURGLAR 2:Tidy. Yes, it is. So why are those kids' shoes strewn all over the porch?

BURGLAR 1:I didn't...think...

BURGLAR 2INTERRUPTING) Ah but then you wouldn't.
Nine years I've been doing this. Always check the porch.

BURGLAR 1:I see.

BURGLAR 2:Nine years...

BURGLAR 1o you think there's nobody in?

BURGLAR 2:Yep.

BURGLAR 1:What if the father's in, who's untidy...but the tidy mother is out?

BURGLAR 2:Hm...

BURGLAR 1 PUTS TORCH UNDER HIS FACE, SCREAM-ESQUE.

BURGLAR 1:What if the father's lying there in the dark,
covered in blood, because the desperate mother did him in
...their bed, scene of the crime, scattered with toe-nail clippings...unmade...

BURGLAR 2:Get out the way son. Look there's no car, see?

BURGLAR 2 WHIPS OUT A TOWEL.
HE HAS A HAMMER TO BREAK THE WINDOW.
HE IS JUST ABOUT TO STRIKE WHEN A CAR PULLS UP. A MAN DRESSED LIKE A WRESTLER FLIES OUT AND GURNS IN FRONT OF THEM. BURGLAR 1 AND 2 GASP.

THE WRESTLER, BONFIRE BIGGS, GOES TO THE BUSH TO THROW UP. THE HOUSE LIGHTS COME ON AS BURGLARS RUN AWAY.

SCENE 2

A SMALL MAN IS READING A NEWSPAPER AT A DESK. BONFIRE IS IN A CHAIR, HE HAS A WET FLANNEL OVER HIS HEAD. THE SMALL MAN IS JIM FLYNN, WRESTLING PROMOTER.

JIM FLYNN:Wrestler Bonfire Biggs gained local hero status last night,
after foiling an attempted robbery in Gravesend.
He was rushing back to start his milk round...

BONFIREINTERRUPTING) Son of a bitch...

JIM FLYNNCALMLY CONTINUES) rushing back to start his milk round, after losing a fight in Gillingham when
he arrived at no.14.
Leaf Park Road,
just as the two burglars began their break in...

BONFIREoes it mention the puke?
That bastard hack would have brought it up.

JIM:Like you after four Barcardi Breezers. Ah...I can't read the rest.

BONFIRE: (HE GETS UP AND FLEXES)You know very well it's my pills.
For pecs like these...I can live with being sick now and then.

JIM:I told the journalist it was catsick.

BONFIRE:Good. Cats are always being sick.

JIMBut he did look a bit dubious.
We need to get you off that Cheerios diet.

JIM SCREWS UP THE PAPER AND THROWS IT IN THE BIN.

BONFIRE:If I could get out of this bloody milkman lark. That would be a start.
That's what you promised me three years ago!
I'm fed up with the early mornings. I'm tired of the taunts Jim..."The Semi Skimmed Slacker"..."The Lactose Luchador..." I don't even drink milk.

JIM:Hey listen...before you get too self pitying.
This thing with the burglars, was a good end to bad night. So what, some journo mentions that you drive a glorified mobility scooter at 4.00 in the morning? It matters not one.
You may have lost your belt to the Excruciator, Bigsy,
but the tag team match next week is a chance to for you to shine.

BONFIRE:You reckon?

JIM:Well...

JIM GETS UP. HE PUTS A PEN IN HIS MOUTH.

Why don't we suggest some kind of tag team match between you and these burglars.
Makes a good story.
It doesn't even have to be the real ones.

BONFIRE:That's great! But who am I going to have as a partner?

I think the lack of comments is a reasonable indication of the potential
of this premis. But at least I had the decency to give you and your
'Wrestling? a posting!

Haha, cheers man.

If I didn't work long, fruitless nights, I'd stick to my day job.

I actually quite liked the first scene with the burglars and think with a bit of reworking you could get a decent sketch out of. Possibly even a series.

As for a sitcom about wrestlers? It might work, you never know. It's a weird forgotten profession and there could be potential in it.

Cheers Chipolata I was thinking maybe a radio thing, cos I dunno how easy it would be to find sitcom actors that look like they've been on 'roids. Plus you could have fun with voices and stuff in it if was written for radio.