British Comedy Guide

Useless facts. Page 20

And this is why China hasn't made it to the moon.

China probably MADE the moon or some cheap knock off at the very least.

Quote: Lee @ May 15 2013, 7:21 PM BST

Yeah but used how? Written on the side of a rocket or incorporated into the naming of their equipment? Because I know you ain't telling me they used ancient spaceship blueprints!

Ain't nobody got time for that!

Only a few years ago, the Chinese discovered some sanskrit documents in Lhasa, Tibet and sent them to the University of Chandrigarh to be translated. Dr. Ruth Reyna of the University said recently that the documents contain directions for building interstellar spaceships! Their method of propulsion, she said, was "anti- gravitational" and was based upon a system analogous to that of "laghima," the unknown power of the ego existing in man's physiological makeup, "a centrifugal force strong enough to counteract all gravitational pull." According to Hindu Yogis, it is this "laghima" which enables a person to levitate.

Dr. Reyna said that on board these machines, which were called "Astras" by the text, the ancient Indians could have sent a detachment of men onto any planet, according to the document, which is thought to be thousands of years old. The manuscripts were also said to reveal the secret of "antima"; "the cap of invisibility" and "garima"; "how to become as heavy as a mountain of lead." Naturally, Indian scientists did not take the texts very seriously, but then became more positive about the value of them when the Chinese announced that they were including certain parts of the data for study in their space program! This was one of the first instances of a government admitting to be researching anti-gravity.

That floats my boat.

Ok Lofty take a deep breath; but David F**king purple wearing nut job Ike doesn't believe in her.

(or atleast the nutters on his forum)

https://www.davidicke.com/forum/showthread.php?t=30917

Seriously mate avoid this conspiracy crap it's poisonous. The universe is full of wonders and beauty. Don't get dragged down some turd filled rabbit hole.

Quote: sootyj @ May 15 2013, 7:49 PM BST

Ok Lofty take a deep breath; but David F**king purple wearing nut job Ike doesn't believe in her.

(or atleast the nutters on his forum)

https://www.davidicke.com/forum/showthread.php?t=30917

Seriously mate avoid this conspiracy crap it's poisonous. The universe is full of wonders and beauty. Don't get dragged down some turd filled rabbit hole.

Well don't blame me if a reptilian driving a vimana blows your house up and kidnaps you

I tried to warn you

:| :| :|

Thats you in your Godzilla pyjamas on your tricycle blowing rapsberries

Does the word ASBO mean nothing to you?

I heard that when they lifted the Mary Rose up they found that the crew all had watches on and the captains cabin had a wide screen telly.

Quote: Gordon Bennett @ April 30 2013, 10:11 AM BST

Maybe he said: "Scheiiiiiiisse...". These would be my last words.

Or " I can't go yet, I've just solved the ultimate equation of the Universe"

Quote: lofthouse @ May 15 2013, 7:39 PM BST

Only a few years ago, the Chinese discovered some sanskrit documents in Lhasa, Tibet and sent them to the University of Chandrigarh to be translated. Dr. Ruth Reyna of the University said recently that the documents contain directions for building interstellar spaceships! Their method of propulsion, she said, was "anti- gravitational" and was based upon a system analogous to that of "laghima," the unknown power of the ego existing in man's physiological makeup, "a centrifugal force strong enough to counteract all gravitational pull." According to Hindu Yogis, it is this "laghima" which enables a person to levitate.

Dr. Reyna said that on board these machines, which were called "Astras" by the text, the ancient Indians could have sent a detachment of men onto any planet, according to the document, which is thought to be thousands of years old. The manuscripts were also said to reveal the secret of "antima"; "the cap of invisibility" and "garima"; "how to become as heavy as a mountain of lead." Naturally, Indian scientists did not take the texts very seriously, but then became more positive about the value of them when the Chinese announced that they were including certain parts of the data for study in their space program! This was one of the first instances of a government admitting to be researching anti-gravity.

Early versions of Science Fiction probably.

Geek

Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ May 15 2013, 7:58 PM BST

I heard that when they lifted the Mary Rose up they found that the crew all had watches on and the captains cabin had a wide screen telly.

Well I didn't see them when I was down there excavating underwater.

I did do the in-situ drawings of the main cooking pot.

Quote: Pingl @ April 30 2013, 10:03 AM BST

Einstein's last words are unknown, he uttered them in German and the only witness was an American Nurse who didn't speak German

If the only witness didn't speak German she can't have known his last words were in German.

Not exactly, but could make a pretty good guess, knowing what German approx sounds like.

Quote: Badge @ May 16 2013, 1:49 AM BST

If the only witness didn't speak German she can't have known his last words were in German.

He said "I am a doughnut".

Maybe she'd heard the rumours he was German. :O
He's not going to randomly say his last words in bloody Chinese is he.

He said "I mean F=Mc2!"

Quote: Pingl @ April 30 2013, 10:03 AM BST

Einstein's last words are unknown, he uttered them in German and the only witness was an American Nurse who didn't speak German

Maybe it was:-

"AAAAAAAAAGGHH!! AAAAAAAAAAAAGHH!! IM DYING IM DYING AAAAAAGH THE PAIN!!! DONT JUST STAND THERE YOU GORMLESS AMERICAN BITCH!! HELPPPPP"

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