December 1941, The White House
Winston Churchill is in Washington visiting for the first time. As is his custom he is having a bath while dictating letters, seemingly oblivious to the presence of the aide.
Aide : So, just to confirm Sir. The telegram to Harris reads, bomb the f**k out of it?
Churchill : Correct man. Now get me a cigar.
The aide leaps to Churchill's request.
Churchill : Funny place the White House, there is something about it that makes me feel uneasy.
Aide: Lincoln used to hold séances here Sir, summoned up all sorts. They say his ghost walks the corridors late at night, muttering something about not wanting to go to the theatre.
Churchill : Rubbish man.
Churchill lies back, puffs on the cigar and relaxes. So much so that little bubbles appear in the water. Then an eerie squeaking can be heard getting louder and louder. The Aide looks fearful.
Churchill : It must be Our American Cousin.
Aide: Don't say that Prime Minster! It's probably Lincoln's ghost, he won't be impressed with being reminded.
The door slowly opens and the Aide looks close to crapping himself. President Roosevelt appears.
Roosevelt : Sorry about that, the damn right wheel needs oiling.
Churchill immediately rises out of respect.
Churchill : Mr President.
The Aide leaps to conceal Churchill's modesty from the President but the towel falls to the floor.
Churchill raises his hands in mock defeat.
Churchill : As you can see Mr President I have nothing to conceal from you.
Aide: This is most irregular gentleman.
Roosevelt : Well. You've got a bigger cock than Chamberlain.
Ends
